Re: [IPFIX] WG Last Call for draft-ietf-ipfix-rfc5815bis-00

Benoit,

That's nice. However, I didn't see _any_ feedback.

Did anyone review it?

So let me do that now:



Firstly, you haven't addressed _any_ of the 5815 errata. There are five. 
Please address them in -bis.

     
http://www.rfc-editor.org/errata_search.php?rfc=5815&rec_status=15&presentation=table



Otherwise my comments are only editorial:



Section 6:

     "{ ipfixSelectorFunctions 1}"

     - Whitespace imbalance around the { }.



Section 6:

     "The specification of new MIB objects SHOULD follow the structure 
specified in the next Section"

     - The next section is "6.1 The Selector Functions". Perhaps you 
mean "8.  MIB Definitions"? So it would be better to state the exact 
section number.



Section 6:

     - as a general comment, this would benefit from being broken into a 
few smaller paragraphs to improve readability.



Section 7.1:

     "the ENTITY MIB module[RFC4133]"

     - the reference runs into the text. Add space.



Section 8.2:

     Description

     "subject to Expert Review  RFC 5226"

     - too much space this time! :-)


     "RFC [NewRFCNumber]"

     - to make the RFC Editor's job easier, use either "NewRFCNumber" or 
"THISrfc", not both.



Section 10:

     Further on, IANA will maintain ...

     "Further on" implies "at some time in the future", which seems 
vague. I'd just drop those words and state, "IANA will create and 
maintain ...".



P.


On 19/12/11 09:50, Benoit Claise wrote:
> Dear all,
>
> Apparently, this WGLC is finished.
> That would be great if we could advance this draft.
> As a reminder of the different references between the drafts:
> draft-ietf-ipfix-configuration-model-10.txt  <http://www.rfc-editor.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-ipfix-configuration-model-10.txt>status is MISSREF on draft-ietf-ipfix-psamp-mib
> draft-ietf-ipfix-psamp-mib-04.txt  <https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-ipfix-psamp-mib/>  status is Waiting for AD Go-Ahead, because of the following normative reference
>
>        [I-D.dkcm-ipfix-rfc5815bis]
>                    Dietz, T., Kobayashi, A., Claise, B., and G. Muenz,
>                    "Definitions of Managed Objects for IP Flow Information
>                    Export", draft-dkcm-ipfix-rfc5815bis-00 (work in
>                    progress), October 2011.
>
>                Note: This reference is actually 
> draft-ietf-ipfix-rfc5815bis-00
>
> Conclusion: draft-ietf-ipfix-rfc5815bis-00 is the bottleneck to 
> publish 3 RFCs
>
> Regards, Benoit.
>>
>> Hi all:
>>
>> As discussed at last week's meeting, the WG Last Call for this
>> draft (updated version of the IPFIX MIB) starts now, and will
>> end on Wednesday, 7 December.  If you have comments on this,
>> please email them to the IPFIX list.
>>
>> Cheers, Nevil
>>
>
>
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