Re: [IPFIX] review of draft-ietf-ipfix-mediation-protocol-05

hi Paul,

Many thanks for the review; these have all been applied to the working copy of revision -06, which will be published post-WGLC.

Cheers,

Brian

On 1 Jul 2013, at 12:33 , Paul Aitken <[email protected]> wrote:

> Here's a review of draft-ietf-ipfix-mediation-protocol-05.
> 
> The comments are all editorial.
> 
> 
> 
>>    However, thanks to its Template mechanism, the IPFIX protocol can
>>    export any type of information, as long as the relevant Information
>>    Element is specified in the IPFIX Information Model
>>    [I-D.ietf-ipfix-information-model-rfc5102bis], registered with IANA,
>>    or specified as an enterprise-specific Information Element.  The
>>    specifications in the IPFIX protocol
>>    [I-D.ietf-ipfix-protocol-rfc5101bis] have not been defined in the
>>    context of an IPFIX Mediator receiving, aggregating, correlating,
>>    anonymizing, etc... Flow Records from 
>> the one or multiple Exporters.
> 
> Say, "from one or more Exporters".
> 
> 
>>    IPFIX has a formal description of IPFIX Information Elements, their
>>    name, type and additional semantic information, as specified in the
>>    IPFIX Information Model
>>    [I-D.ietf-ipfix-information-model-rfc5102bis].  The IPFIX Information
>>    Element registry [iana-ipfix-assignments] 
>> registry is maintained by
> 
> Remove the second "registry".
> 
> 
>>                Figure 3: Template Mapping example: templates
>> 
>>    The Template Mapping corresponding to 
>> figure 3 is displayed in 
>> figure
>>    4
>> :
> 
> Capitalise "Figure 3" and "Figure 4" for consistency.
> 
> Can you prevent the line break in "Figure 4" ?
> 
> 
>>                Figure 4: Template Mapping example: mappings
>> 
>>    Alternatively, the Template Mapping may be optimized as in 
>> figure 5:
> 
> Capitalise "Figure 5" for consistency.
> 
> 
>> 4.1.1.  Template Mapping and Information Element Ordering
>> 
>>    In the situation where Original Exporters each export an (Options)
>>    Template to a single IPFIX Mediator, and the (Options) Template
>>    Record contains the same Information Elements but in different order,
>>    should the IPFIX Mediator maintain a Template Mapping with a single
>>    Export Template Record (see 
>> figure 6
>> ) or should the IPFIX Mediator
>>    maintain multiple independent Template Records (see 
>> figure 7
>> ) before
>>    re-exporting to the Collector?
>> 
> 
> Capitalise "Figure 6" and "Figure 7" for consistency.
> 
> 
>>    o  Any combination or list of Information Elements representing
>>       Observation Points.  For example:
>>    o
>> 
> 
> Remove the additional bullet point.
> 
> 
>>    Any combination of the above representations is possible.  An example
>>    of an Original Observation Point for an Intermediate Aggregation
>>    Process is displayed in 
>> figure 8.
> 
> Capitalise "Figure 8" for consistency.
> 
> 
>>    The most generic way to export the Original Observation Point is to
>>    use a subTemplateMultiList, with the semantic "exactlyOneOf".  Taking
>>    the previous example, the encoding in 
>> figure 9 can be used.
> 
> Capitalise "Figure 9" for consistency.
> 
> 
>>    Analogous to the Metering Process Reliability Statistics Options
>>    Template, also specified in [I-D.ietf-ipfix-protocol-rfc5101bis],
>>    Mediators SHOULD implement the Intermediate Process Reliability
>>    Statistics Options Template, specified in 
>> the Section 10.1.
> 
> Remove "the".
> 
> 
>> 10.1.  Intermediate Process Reliability Statistics Template
> 
> Name this "... Option Template" since it contains scope IEs, and for consistency with 10.2.
> 
> 
> 
>> 13.  IANA Considerations
>> 
>>    This document specifies new IPFIX Information Elements,
>>    originalExporterIPv4Address in Section 5.1,
>>    originalExporterIPv6Address in Section 5.2,
>>    originalObservationDomainId in Section 6.1, intermediateProcessId in
>>    Section 10.3, and ignoredFlowRecordTotalCount in Section 10.4, to be
>>    added to the IPFIX Information Element registry
>>    [iana-ipfix-assignments].  [IANA NOTE: please add the five
>>    Information Elements as specified in the references subsections,
>>    change TBD1, TBD2, TBD3, TBD4, and TBD5 in this document to reflect
>>    the assigned identifiers, put the Status as current, insert THISRFC
>>    into the 
>> Reuquester
>>  entry, insert 0 for the Revision, and use the
>>    current date for Date.]
>> 
> 
> Typo, "Requester".
> 
> 
>>    Atsushi Kobayashi
>> 
>>    NTT Information Sharing Platform Laboratories
>>    3-9-11 Midori-cho
>>    Musashino-shi, Tokyo 180-8585
>>    Japan
>> 
>>    Phone: +81 422 59 3978
>> 
>>    Email: 
>> [email protected]
> 
> Check whether this is still correct.
> 
> 
> P.

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