Lakeside Robotics Corporation has reviewed IPP Enterprise Printing Extensions v2.0 (EPX) and has comments

Comments (based on clean PDF):

1. The boilerplate on page 3 needs to be updated - the "About" headings need to be boldface, the links all need to be https, and the www.pwg.org link needs to be converted to a hyperlink.

2. Section 1: Update last sentence to be "Section 14.1 lists the changes to the earlier revision of this specification."

3. Section 2.2: Update to new boilerplate from the template.

4. Section 2.2, line 333: Remove extra space after "Input Page:"

5. Section 2.2, line 343: Add comma before "and Send-URI."

6. Section 2.2, line 355: Capitalize "A" for "A hardware implementation of ..."

7. Section 2.3: HTTP/1.1 is now STD 99 (RFC 9112)

8. Section 3.1: No need to mention or reference ISO DPA here - we aren't pulling in anything more than what is in IPP/1.1, so just mention *that*.

9. Section 3.1, line 421: Template uses lowercase "should" in this situation.

10. Section 3.1, line 424: Should be "Also, given the availability ..." (Given is incorrectly capitalized)

11. Section 3.2.3: Recommend wording this as AAA Framework, with the corresponding definition and references from PWG 5100.18 (INFRA).

12. Section 3.2.6: No need to reference PWG 5100.5 as the use case highlights multiple documents but not a particular implementation of it (and STD92 supports multiple document jobs).

13. Figures 1 (page 16), 3 (page 18), and 4 (page 19): Hard to read black text with dark red background.

14. Global: Bulleted lists are missing bullets and indentation - fix style (see sections 3.4, 10.*)

15. Section 3.5, line 582: IPP/1.1 reference should be "Internet Printing Protocol/1.1 [STD92]", not "IETF IPP/1.1"

16. Section 3.5, line 584: "Optimize compatibility" isn't a technical requirement. Maybe "Maintain compatibility with existing IPP operations ..."? Also, don't differentiate IETF and PWG operations, they are all maintained by us.

17. Section 4.1: Fix last three sentences, maybe something like: "... but with the key difference that, unlike Get-Printer-Attributes, the Printer is expected to challenge the Client for authentication when processing a Get-User-Printer-Attributes request. A Printer declares its support for the Job Print Policy by including the Get-User-Printer-Attributes operation in its "operations-supported" Printer Description attribute [STD92]."

18. Figures 5 (page 23), 6 (page 24), 7 (page 25), 8 (page 26), 9 and 10 (page 27), and 11 and 12 (page 28): White text on a yellow background is hard to read.

19. Section 4.2.2: Drop "as of this publication"

20. Section 4.4, line 674: Drop comma after "processing", i.e. "... as part of processing to make the Job available ..."

21. Between Figure 7 and 8, unnecessary page break

22. Section 5.1, lines 763-765: Add "requested-attributes" [STD92]

23. Section 6.1.1, line 823: "operation attribute" not "Job Template attribute"

24. Tables 6 and 7 (page 35): Row height is messed up, header needs to be bottom left aligned

25. Section 6.2.2, line 936-937: Reword, perhaps "Note: There is no "proof-copies-default" Printer Description attribute."

26. Section 6.4.3, line 1034: Drop "option", i.e. "that syntax is now OBSOLETE."

27. Section 6.4.5: Title should not have quotes around unknown syntax

28. Tables 13 (pages 43-44), 17 (pages 52-53), 18 (pages 53-55), 20 (pages 56-58), 21 (page 58), 22 (pages 59-60), 23 (pages 60-61): Repeat heading row

29. Section 6.4.17, 6.4.18: Delete (duplicate) - these should only be Printer Status attributes

30. Section 8.3, line 1462: Reword "MUST support the applicable keywords"

31. Section 8.4, lines 1466-1467: Drop which-jobs-supported reference.

32. Section 12: Security and Privacy Considerations, "In addition to the security and privacy considerations described in Internet Printing Protocol/1.1 [STD92]..."

33. Section 12.1, line 1622: "supplies" (not supplys)

34. Section 13.x: Multiple issues, will work with you offline to correct the registration templates.

35. Section 13.2: "Keyword Registrations"

36. Section 13.3: "Enum Registrations"

37. Section 14.1, lines 1901-1902: Drop "(which were never observed to have been used in practice)"

38. Section 14.1, lines 1907-1908: Add informative reference, make "from [LAKESIDE20201201];"

39. Section 14.1, lines 1909-1910: Reword as "Added the "printer-storage" and "printer-storage-description" attributes to provide a mapping of the Host Resources MIB for storage devices;"

40. Section 15.1, lines 1924-1925: Move to informative section 15.2.

41. Section 15.1: Update PWG5100.3, PWG5100.7, PWG5100.13, UNICODE; remove RFC7230; add STD99

42. Section 15.2: Update EPX-ABNF, remove PWG5100.5, PWG5100.18, RFC3380

43. Section 16: "Authors"

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Michael Sweet