l2tpext-sbfd-discriminator comments
Ignacio Goyret <[email protected]> Tue, 08 Dec 2015 05:52:01 -0800
| Newsgroups | gmane.ietf.l2tpext |
|---|---|
| Message-ID | <[email protected]> |
Hi authors,
Minor details, mostly for clarity or grammar:
1) Page 3, "Encoding format"
a)
BEFORE:
The S-BFD Target Discriminator ID AVP, Attribute Type TBD, is an
^^^^^
identifier used to advertise the S-BFD target discriminators
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
supported by an LCCE for S-BFD Reflector operation.
AFTER:
The S-BFD Target Discriminator ID AVP, Attribute Type TBD,
advertises the S-BFD target discriminators
^^^^^^^^^^
supported by an LCCE for S-BFD Reflector operation.
OR: s/advertises/identifies/
a) I believe it should be made more clear that each discriminator
is 4 octets long. May be the drawing should be modified to show
something like this:
+------+------+------+------+
| Discriminator Value 1 |
+------+------+------+------+
.....
+------+------+------+------+
The text description should also include a more formal declaration of
the AVP value, something like this:
"The Attribute Value field of this AVP is a sequence of one or
more S-BFD Discriminator values, each 4 octets long."
b)
BEFORE:
...discard this AVP without affecting the rest of session negotiation.
AFTER:
...discard this AVP without affecting the rest of the session negotiation.
^^^
c)
BEFORE:
the AVP encoding allows specification an
arbitrary number of discrminators for extensibility.
^^^^
AFTER:
the AVP encoding allows specification of an
^^^^
arbitrary number of discriminators for extensibility.
^
2) "Acknowledgements"
BEFORE:
performing thorough reviews and providing number of comments.
AFTER:
performing thorough reviews and providing a number of comments.
^^^
OR:
performing thorough reviews and providing numerous comments.
^^^^^^^^
-Ignacio