Re: New Version Notification for draft-ietf-mboned-deprecate-interdomain-asm-04.txt

Thanks Jake,

Will fix these and resubmit soon (along with the outstanding shepherd report for your draft!).

Tim

On 30 Aug 2019, at 23:15, Holland, Jake <[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>> wrote:

Hi Tim,

I looked at the changes, and it’s much better, thanks.

I saw a few more nits remaining or newly introduced:


1. Top of 2.3.  SSM Routing protocols:
  SSM is detailed in [RFC4607].  It mandates the use of PIM-SSM for
  routing of SSM.  PIM-SSM as merely a subset of PIM-SM ([RFC7761]).

- "as" -> "is", I think?


2. Bottom of 3.2.1 Reduced network operations complexity:
  receivers.  Bidir-PIM therefore trades state complexity with
  (potentially large amounts) of unnecessary traffic.

- dropping the parenthetical here would leave an ungrammatical sentence
 ("complexity with of unnecessary..."), so I suggest rewording it.  Maybe:
"Bidir-PIM therefore trades state complexity with
unnecessary traffic (potentially a large amount)."


3. 2nd last P of 4.8. Not Precluding Intradomain ASM:
   "necessary due to application requirements (see Section 4.4."
- still contains unclosed paragraph (should insert a ')' before the final period)


4. top of 5. Future interdomain ASM work
- "mechaisms" -> "mechanisms"



I think with fixes for these very minor changes I support advancing the document.


Best,
Jake

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