Re: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-mboned-driad-amt-discovery-09
Alissa Cooper <[email protected]> Tue, 17 Dec 2019 21:25:21 -0500
| Newsgroups | gmane.ietf.mboned,gmane.ietf.gen-art |
|---|---|
| Message-ID | <[email protected]> |
--===============5129440018731304764== Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="Apple-Mail=_2CDAAF77-0E9E-47CA-8F78-8813B1800F66" --Apple-Mail=_2CDAAF77-0E9E-47CA-8F78-8813B1800F66 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Content-Type: text/plain; charset=utf-8 Dan, thanks for your review. Jake, thanks for making the changes. I = entered a No Objection ballot. Alissa > On Dec 3, 2019, at 3:31 PM, Dan Romascanu <[email protected]> wrote: >=20 > Hi Jake, >=20 > Thanks for addressing these issues.=20 >=20 > No further comments.=20 >=20 > Regards, >=20 > Dan >=20 >=20 > On Tue, Dec 3, 2019 at 6:57 PM Holland, Jake <[email protected] = <mailto:[email protected]>> wrote: > Hi Dan, >=20 > =EF=BB=BFOn 2019-11-28, 07:22, "Dan Romascanu via Datatracker" = <[email protected] <mailto:[email protected]>> wrote: > > Nits/editorial comments: > > 1. The reading of 2.4.1 and 2.4.3 seemed to me confusing. 2.4.1 = speaks about > > 'establishing' a connection while 2.4.3 speaks about 'completing' a = connection. > > Are the two terms equivalent? If so, I would prefer to use only one = of them, if > > not, some more clarification is necessary. >=20 > Good point, thanks. I've provisionally changed my local copy to use > "established", which I think addresses this comment: >=20 > OLD: > o An AMT connection is completed successfully when the gateway > receives from a newly discovered relay a valid Membership Query >=20 > NEW: > o An AMT connection is established successfully when the gateway > receives from a newly discovered relay a valid Membership Query >=20 > > 2. The term 'tier 3 ISP' used in Section 3.1.1 is an 'industry term' = that needs > > to be defined, either by reference or in text. >=20 > I've removed the "Tier 3" and expanded the first use to "Internet = Service > Provider" (2nd use, not including section title). I think the "Tier = 3" > was non-essential. >=20 > OLD: > 3.1.1. Tier 3 ISP >=20 > One example of a receiving network is an ISP that offers multicast > ingest services to its subscribers, illustrated in Figure 3. >=20 > NEW: > 3.1.1. Internet Service Provider >=20 > One example of a receiving network is an Internet Service Provider > (ISP) that offers multicast ingest services to its subscribers, > illustrated in Figure 3. >=20 > Thanks for pointing out the nits, and please let me know if there's > anything else you think needs changing. >=20 > Thanks and regards, > Jake >=20 >=20 > _______________________________________________ > Gen-art mailing list > [email protected] > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art --Apple-Mail=_2CDAAF77-0E9E-47CA-8F78-8813B1800F66 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Content-Type: text/html; charset=utf-8 <html><head><meta http-equiv=3D"Content-Type" content=3D"text/html; = charset=3Dutf-8"></head><body style=3D"word-wrap: break-word; = -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; line-break: after-white-space;" class=3D"">Dan, = thanks for your review. Jake, thanks for making the changes. I entered a = No Objection ballot.<div class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div = class=3D"">Alissa</div><div class=3D""><br class=3D""><div><br = class=3D""><blockquote type=3D"cite" class=3D""><div class=3D"">On Dec = 3, 2019, at 3:31 PM, Dan Romascanu <<a = href=3D"mailto:[email protected]" class=3D"">[email protected]</a>> = wrote:</div><br class=3D"Apple-interchange-newline"><div class=3D""><div = dir=3D"ltr" class=3D""><div class=3D"">Hi Jake,</div><div class=3D""><br = class=3D""></div><div class=3D"">Thanks for addressing these issues. <br = class=3D""></div><div class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div class=3D"">No = further comments. <br class=3D""></div><div class=3D""><br = class=3D""></div><div class=3D"">Regards,</div><div class=3D""><br = class=3D""></div><div class=3D"">Dan</div><div class=3D""><br = class=3D""></div></div><br class=3D""><div class=3D"gmail_quote"><div = dir=3D"ltr" class=3D"gmail_attr">On Tue, Dec 3, 2019 at 6:57 PM Holland, = Jake <<a href=3D"mailto:[email protected]" = class=3D"">[email protected]</a>> wrote:<br = class=3D""></div><blockquote class=3D"gmail_quote" style=3D"margin:0px = 0px 0px 0.8ex;border-left:1px solid = rgb(204,204,204);padding-left:1ex">Hi Dan,<br class=3D""> <br class=3D""> =EF=BB=BFOn 2019-11-28, 07:22, "Dan Romascanu via Datatracker" <<a = href=3D"mailto:[email protected]" target=3D"_blank" = class=3D"">[email protected]</a>> wrote:<br class=3D""> > Nits/editorial comments:<br class=3D""> > 1. The reading of 2.4.1 and 2.4.3 seemed to me confusing. 2.4.1 = speaks about<br class=3D""> > 'establishing' a connection while 2.4.3 speaks about 'completing' a = connection.<br class=3D""> > Are the two terms equivalent? If so, I would prefer to use only one = of them, if<br class=3D""> > not, some more clarification is necessary.<br class=3D""> <br class=3D""> Good point, thanks. I've provisionally changed my local copy to = use<br class=3D""> "established", which I think addresses this comment:<br class=3D""> <br class=3D""> OLD:<br class=3D""> o An AMT connection is completed successfully when = the gateway<br class=3D""> receives from a newly discovered relay a valid = Membership Query<br class=3D""> <br class=3D""> NEW:<br class=3D""> o An AMT connection is established successfully when = the gateway<br class=3D""> receives from a newly discovered relay a valid = Membership Query<br class=3D""> <br class=3D""> > 2. The term 'tier 3 ISP' used in Section 3.1.1 is an 'industry = term' that needs<br class=3D""> > to be defined, either by reference or in text.<br class=3D""> <br class=3D""> I've removed the "Tier 3" and expanded the first use to "Internet = Service<br class=3D""> Provider" (2nd use, not including section title). I think the = "Tier 3"<br class=3D""> was non-essential.<br class=3D""> <br class=3D""> OLD:<br class=3D""> 3.1.1. Tier 3 ISP<br class=3D""> <br class=3D""> One example of a receiving network is an ISP that offers = multicast<br class=3D""> ingest services to its subscribers, illustrated in Figure = 3.<br class=3D""> <br class=3D""> NEW:<br class=3D""> 3.1.1. Internet Service Provider<br class=3D""> <br class=3D""> One example of a receiving network is an Internet Service = Provider<br class=3D""> (ISP) that offers multicast ingest services to its = subscribers,<br class=3D""> illustrated in Figure 3.<br class=3D""> <br class=3D""> Thanks for pointing out the nits, and please let me know if there's<br = class=3D""> anything else you think needs changing.<br class=3D""> <br class=3D""> Thanks and regards,<br class=3D""> Jake<br class=3D""> <br class=3D""> <br class=3D""> </blockquote></div> _______________________________________________<br class=3D"">Gen-art = mailing list<br class=3D""><a href=3D"mailto:[email protected]" = class=3D"">[email protected]</a><br = class=3D"">https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art<br = class=3D""></div></blockquote></div><br class=3D""></div></body></html>= --Apple-Mail=_2CDAAF77-0E9E-47CA-8F78-8813B1800F66-- --===============5129440018731304764== Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Disposition: inline _______________________________________________ MBONED mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/mboned --===============5129440018731304764==--