RE: A few comments on the Midcom MIB-00

--On Dienstag, 2. März 2004 20:04 Uhr -0500 Sharon Chisholm 
<[email protected]> wrote:

| hi
|
| Comments inline ...
|
| -----Original Message-----
| From: Martin Stiemerling [mailto:[email protected]]
| <clip>
|
||
|| 1. In the Overview section, how do the managed objects described in
|| the third paragraph relate to the solution described in the second
|| paragraph? This connection has not been made.
|
| Martin>Actually I'm not sure to what you refer. Could please cite the
| paragraphs
| Martin>by email?
|
| Like most of my comments, this relates to readability. These are the two
| paragraphs in question:
|
| "As one possible solution for this problem, the IETF MIDCOM working
|    group defined a framework [RFC3303], requirements [RFC3304] and
|    protocol semantics [RFCXXXX] for communication between applications
|    and middleboxes acting as firewalls, NATs or a combination of both.
|
|    The managed objects defined in this document can be used for
|    dynamically configuring middleboxes on the datagram path in order to
|    enable datagram streams to pass the middlebox.  This way,
|    applications can request pinholes at firewalls and address bindings
|    at NATs."

OK, now I see, we will change it in the next revision.


||
|| 2. In section 3.1, on Terminology, it would be good to tell us what
|| RFCXXXX is. Right now I have no idea what document you are referring
|| to, but even after it is published, I think including the title of the
|| RFC would greatly increase readability.
|
| Martin>See Section 11 References: RFCXXX is the MIDCOM semantics document
| that is
| Martin>currently in IESG review.
|
| Again, from a readability perspective, it would be better to provide the
| title of the ID/RFC within the paragraph instead of forcing the reader to
| jump around the document.

The title is in the reference section and can be found very quickly by the 
reader. So this should be sufficient.

[...]
|
||
|| 4. In section 4, the first paragraph, I might suggest something more
|| along the lines of "This memo describes a method of using managing
|| Midcom in SNMP and also provides the necessary MIB objects to support
|| this method."
||
|
| Martin> Why do you think it is not appropriate? I have problems to follow
| your
| Martin> suggestion "...using managing Midcom in SNMP". This sounds rather
| confusing
| Martin> for me.
| Martin> Here is the original excerpt:
| Martin> "In order to realize middlebox communication as described in RFC
| XXXX, several Martin> aspects and properties of the MIDCOM protocol need
| to be mapped to SNMP
| Martin> capabilities and expressed in terms of the Structure of Management
| Information
| Martin> version 2 (SMIv2)."
|
| Ok, this one might be more word smithing. I think it's the idea that you
| are claiming to be mapping to SNMP rather than using it, which from what
| I can tell is what you are doing. Sure, you've got network elements also
| acting in the manager role, but the Internet Management Framework allows
| for that.

OK, agreed. We will work on that section.

Thanks for the first review,

  Martin