Some comments on draft-ietf-multi6-v4-multihoming-02.txt
Thierry Ernst <[email protected]> Tue, 2 Nov 2004 16:02:26 +0900
| Newsgroups | gmane.ietf.multi6 |
|---|---|
| Organization | Keio University |
| Message-ID | <[email protected]> |
Dear all, This is the 1st time I read this draft, and, to be honest, I don't really understand the value of the document. IMHO, more text and details would help to fully meet the objectives of the draft. But I don't have any suggestions besides the following (mostly) editorial comments. - A table of contents is missing Introduction - a sentence detailing the structure of the document (from section 2 till end) would help. - particularly, the abstract nor the introduction give me a hint of the content of section 5. Section 2: - all terms but one (mullti-addressed) are defined in RFC3582, why not saying it ? (I'm OK with repeating the definitions, though) Section 4.3 - I don't get the meaning of "having their upstreams remove those on announcement". Their upstreams what ? The same occurs in orher parts of the text. Section 5 - what is the purpose of this section ? It says "analysis of the features...". Is this an analysis which goes through the goals/requirements defined in RFC3582. May sound like it since the "Simplicity", "Transport-Layer Survivability" etc are defined in RFC3582. (I know draft-v4-multihoming is about the "IPv4 experience", but it's not so clear from reading the text which document inherits from the other one, so this paragraph or Section 1 may be improved). Section 5.4 - Typo in "A single-home client a multi-homed site" Section 6.1 - Typo: remove 's' in 'might explains' - higher growth: in what ? In the (number of) the multihomed sites ? - I would also suggest "state" -> amount of state. It might be useful to specify what kind of state, for the novice reader (unless we assume this is obvious to the reader). - no need for a section "6.1" if there is no section 6.2. Thierry.