WGLC comments on draft-ietf-multi6-architecture-02.txt
<[email protected]> Wed, 3 Nov 2004 09:12:35 +0200
| Newsgroups | gmane.ietf.multi6 |
|---|---|
| Message-ID | <[email protected]> |
Geoff, I support this draft going forward, I have a couple of issues, some questions but mostly nits. thanks, John Issues: ====== 1) This document would benefit from a terminology section. Perhaps a reference to the Terminology section in RFC3582 as well. Terminology to include would be "session resilience"; add ULP, LLP and EIP; as well as others. 2) Section 5.3.1 - Triggering Locator Switches. Inserting an information reference to http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-iab-link-indications-00.txt could be useful. It seems to me that a crucial part of any multihoming solution will be the triggering of a multihoming event. I don't think we need to explicitly list all of the potential triggers, but let the astute reader catch-up on some related work. Questions: ========= 1) Section 4.3: "The intent of multi-homing in the IPv6 domain is to achieve a comparable functional outcome for multi-homed sites without an associated additional load being imposed on the routing system." This sentence seems incomplete, a comparable functional outcome as compared to what? 2) 1st line, page 8: "In addition to this objective of session resilience across network reachability changes," ... I had a hard time parsing this at first, perhaps the coffee didn't kick in. Is it: "In addition to this objective of session resilience across network reachability changes," ... or "In addition to this objective of session resilience during network reachability changes," ... or "In addition to this objective of session resilience in spite of network reachability changes," ... Nits: ==== 1) Spacing problem, but this seems to be a Secretariat problem. 2) Page 6: "The environment of multi-homing is one that is intended to provide sufficient support to local hosts so as to allow local hosts to exchange IP packets with remote hosts, such that this exchange of packets is to be seamlessly supported across dynamic changes in connectivity." Change 'seamlessly' to another term, perhaps 'transparently'? Seamlessly has a lot of mobility baggage, so it might be good to avoid that term. 3) Expand first usage of ULP in section 4.2. 4) Section 4.3 (and others) "vs" should be "vs." 5) Section 5.3.1 - adding a new line before each bullet would increase readability. 6) "5.3.5 Dynamic Capability Negotiation The common aspect of these approaches is that they all involve changes to the end-to-end interaction, as both endS of the" endS -> ends 7) Section 6 - insert a blank line between questions; otherwise it is somewhat awkward to read.