Re: Artart last call review of draft-ietf-tsvwg-l4s-arch-18

Show my share

On Wed, Jul 20, 2022, 9:51 PM Marco Tiloca via Datatracker <[email protected]>
wrote:

> Reviewer: Marco Tiloca
> Review result: Ready with Nits
>
> Thanks for this document! Please see my comments below.
>
> Best,
> /Marco
>
> [General]
>
> * Based on the guidelines from RFC 7322, the "Acknowledgements" section
> should
> be unnumbered and placed between the "References" section and the "Authors'
> Addresses" section.
>
> * It is worth mentioning upfront that "capacity" refers to "link capacity"
> in
> terms of experienced bit rate. This becomes explicit only in Section 5.1,
> when
> discussing "Scalable throughput."
>
> [Abstract]
>
> * The three components of the L4S architecture include "protocol features
> that
> allow network elements to identify L4S traffic".
>
>    The protocol in question becomes evident in Section 2 as ECN. The
> abstract
>    can already mention that, e.g., as "features of the Explicit Congestion
>    Notification (ECN) protocol that allow ..."
>
> [Section 1]
>
> * "With some transport protocols, namely TCP and SCTP, the sender has to
> check
> for suitably updated receiver feedback, whereas with more recent transport
> protocols such as QUIC and DCCP, all receivers have always been suitable."
>
>    The first part of the sentence focuses on checking feedback from
> receivers,
>    while the second one on the actual receivers. Does the second part
> actually
>    mean "... feedback from all receivers is always suitable" ?
>
> [Section 2]
>
> * "... as the protocol to identify to the network which packets are L4S and
> which are Classic."
>
>    This should be something like "... as the protocol that allows the
> network
>    to identify which packets are L4S and which are Classic."
>
> [Section 5.2]
>
> * "... as opposed to TLS over UDP"
>
>    Do you mean "TLS over TCP" or rather "DTLS over UDP"? Or instead the
> use of
>    TLS for securing UDP-based transports such as QUIC?
>
> [Nits]
>
> * Section 3: s/low enough not build/low enough to not build
>
> * Section 4.3: s/specifies that requirements that/specifies the
> requirements
> that
>
> * Section 5.1: s/because it assume/because it assumes
>
>
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