New rev -28 (was: Artart last call review of draft-ietf-tsvwg-ecn-l4s-id-27)

tsvwg,

We have posted a new rev of draft-ietf-tsvwg-ecn-l4s-id-28 following the 
review below by Bernard Aboba as Apps Area Directorate reviewer.
Thank you again, Bernard.

Summary of changes.
* All changes were editorial in nature.
* No changes were made to normative text nor to any technical descriptions.

* The full diff can be accessed from the datatracker: 
https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-tsvwg-ecn-l4s-id-28.txt
* The main changes were to:
   - the abstract
   - the intro (§1.)
   - the problem description (§1.1)
   - sections 2 and 3 were switched round because the old section 3 was 
the basis of a document roadmap, so it was moved earlier, and expanded a 
little to fully map out the document and closely related docs.
     (the diff cannot show changes to a moved section, but you can see 
which para's were added, if you want to check)
* Numerous other minor editorial changes.


Bob


On 05/08/2022 15:34, Bob Briscoe wrote:
> Bernard,
>
> Thank you again. I also added you to the Acknowledgements section 
> after I temporarily uploaded the diff.
>
> I will hold back from posting a new rev until early next week, to give 
> my co-author a chance to check it over.
>
>
> Bob
>
> On 05/08/2022 01:59, Bernard Aboba wrote:
>> Bob --
>>
>> Thanks for the thoughtful and thorough response to my review.  I have 
>> gone
>> through the changes you suggest, and they look good to me.
>>
>> On Thu, Aug 4, 2022 at 4:57 PM Bob Briscoe <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>>> Bernard,
>>>
>>> Thank you for taking the time to produce this extremely thorough 
>>> review.
>>> Pls see [BB] inline;
>>> You will need an HTML email reader for the diffs in this email.
>>> Alternatively, I've temporarily uploaded a side-by-side diff here:
>>>
>>> https://bobbriscoe.net/tmp/draft-ietf-tsvwg-ecn-l4s-id-28a-DIFF-27.html
>>>
>>>
>>> On 30/07/2022 00:51, Bernard Aboba via Datatracker wrote:
>>>
>>> Reviewer: Bernard Aboba
>>> Review result: On the Right Track
>>>
>>> Here are my review comments.  I believe this is quite an important 
>>> document, so
>>> that making the reasoning as clear as possible is important. 
>>> Unfortunately,
>>> the writing and overall organization makes the document hard to 
>>> follow. If the
>>> authors are open to it, I'd be willing to invest more time to help 
>>> get it into
>>> shape.
>>>
>>>
>>> [BB] Thank you. You have already obviously sunk considerable time 
>>> into it
>

-- 
________________________________________________________________
Bob Briscoe                               http://bobbriscoe.net/

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