Re: cancer

Wow.

I...

Wow, I really do not have any idea what to say.

I love you brother, and wish I could do more to ease your confusion.

-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] On
Behalf Of pcg
Sent: Tuesday, February 01, 2011 9:38 AM
To: DADL (off topic)
Subject: [DADL-OT] cancer

My dad went into the hospital night before last, complaining of
intense pain in his neck. Long story short, after many tests, scans,
biopsies, the report is that he is "full of cancer." Further tests
tomorrow will provide a more complete picture, and hopefully a
prognosis and treatment plan. Right now problem areas include
unidentified masses along his spine, spots on his liver, and abnormal
growths on his colon. They don't know if this is several isolated
pockets, or a single cancer that has metastisized.

Kind of stunned right now, and so not ready for this. He just came
through his kidney transplant with flying colors a few months ago. How
they managed to miss this during the comprehensive pre-op testing is
beyond me. For the last two years, I've watched him suffer through
dialysis, and the long process of trying to find a suitable kidney
donor. After the surgery was a success, we all got to breathe easily
for the first time in a long time. Dad looked and felt so much better,
was gaining energy every day and laughing for the first time in a long
time. He got off disability and recently began looking for a new
career. Now this.

Dad is in some kind of denial, refusing to hear any report that is
"not the Lord's." The complete story about his condition is still
unclear, because when the doctor's were explaining, he "only listened
to about every third word," and when they were finished delivering his
intitial diagnosis, he evidently asked, "Are you finished? Because I
don't care about any of this." He says his life is the Lord's, not the
doctors', and whatever they have to tell him is irrelevant. It's
frustrating.

I feel like I'm walking around in a fog today. Final tests should be
back sometime this afternoon, and after work my brother and I will be
going to the hospital to talk to the doctors ourselves.

I want to ask for prayers, but I feel hypocritical doing so, because I
don't even know if I believe in prayer any more. I just wanna wake up.

-- 
-pcg
 [email protected]

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