Re: The Bullshit of the Christ

i hate mel gibson.  I don't hate him because of his politics, though--he is just
one of those assholes who rubs me the wrong way and his movies suck.  Why would
i want to watch one of those pieces of crap?  I think jesus is lucky that he
died on a cross.  If they just stabbed him or something, no one could make a
nice wall ornament out of the event.  The cross is nice because you can put a
nail in the back of it and hang in on the wall.  If you got an itch while dying
on a cross, you would be pretty well fucked, plus maturbating would be
impossible.  I guess one of your disciples could give you a nice healthy
blowjob now and then.  Hell, they would owe it to you for not getting you off
the cross.  This brings up one other point.  The cross is a crappy way to kill
someone because it takes too long.  We all know from the movies that if the
villian had just shot the hero, the villian would win, but they have to think
of some clever way to kill the hero and the process is ordinarily slow leading
to the chances of an escape or a rescue from a sidekick.  when faced between
using a gun or a death ray, it is best to use the gun.  remember that movie
with that guy who had the gun and he was pointing it at the guy, but he said
that in fifteen hours you will be killed by this deathray and he had a whole
fifteen hours to think about how he was going to escape?  He should have just
shot the guy.

-g



Quoting [email protected]:

> Poor Poor Adam.  So angry.
> 
> While I agree this movie is going to blow over and the sun will continue to
> rise the next day (Anyone remember the picketers near riots when Last
> Temptation of Christ came out or am I the only old fart?-everyone thought the
> earth would open up if it were shown to audiences), I think this is an
> important film.  Even though I do not even come close to his belief system, I
> give Gibson credit for trying to show this in realistic light.  Previous
> flicks on Big J look as though the cruxification wasn't all bad and that's
> due to our own censorship on film in this country.
> 
> As for the Anti-Semitism, Gibson had a great comment on Primetime stating how
> after he watched Schindler's List he didn't want to go out hating Germans
> even after the terrible things that were done in the movie.  Perhaps that
> because he's a Nazi?  People have to get a grip though and realize that even
> though the content is about faith and belief, it is still a movie and only an
> interpretation of scripture (from someone who starred in Bird on a Wire no
> less).
> 
> Almost more than the movie, I want to see audience reaction to this in the
> theater.  I hope I witness some Jesus freaks wailing.  "Why couldn't someone
> have saved him?!"
> 
> During this firestorm of hype, I am reminded of Kinison's take on it all. 
> "It's a shame he has to die".  "Well, maybe I wouldn't have to if someone got
> a ladder and a pair of pliers!"
> 
> I believe Jesus was a guy who lived and had a movement that followed him
> (quite possibly the first posse or entourage ever).  I believe he was a
> "troublemaker" who stepped on a lot of toes and pissed people off.  And I
> believe he was killed as so many were on the cross (why is his suffering on
> the cross any worse than some schmoo who stole a piece of bread?).
> 
> What I don't believe is all the baggage that rolls with it.  It borders on
> fairy tales and listening for Santa (which I still haven't gotten over to
> that lie).
> 
> And lastly on a related note, zealots refer to a second coming.  This is when
> all the believers are called up to heaven (one hell of a traffic jam that
> would be-never mind the administrative task of processing them) while the
> earth is set on fire and the non-believers are charred to a crisp (like in
> Alberque).  If I were Jesus (and I'm not. . .I think), I wouldn't come
> anywhere near this planet.  And if he is here, he's one of the many crazy
> people on the street we ignore.  No one would believe him unless he did
> really cool magic tricks.
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