FW: Friday Funnies

>From a friend in Calgary . . . 


At New York's Kennedy airport  today, an individual later discovered to
be a public school teacher was  arrested trying to board a flight while
in possession of a ruler, a  protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and
a  calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General  John Ashcroft said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious  al-gebra movement. He is
being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons  of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said.  "They desire average
solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go  off on tangents in
search of absolute value. They use secret code  names like 'x' and 'y'
and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we  have determined they
belong to a common denominator of the axis of  medieval with coordinates
in every country. As the Greek philanderer  Isosceles used to say,
'there are 3 sides to every  triangle'."

When asked to comment on the arrest,  President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of  math instruction, He would have
given us more fingers and  toes."

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