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-------- Original Message --------
Subject: FW: (no subject)
From: "Susan Stasny" <[email protected]>
Date: Wed, August 11, 2004 3:09 pm
To: <[email protected]>



Susan Stasny
Human Resources Admin.
DEALER.COM
Direct:    877-327-8422 x 431
[email protected]
http://www.dealer.com/


-----Original Message-----
From: Rachel [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Wednesday, August 11, 2004 11:54 AM
To: skycave_recording-/[email protected]; [email protected];
[email protected]
Subject: Fw: (no subject)


-----Forwarded Message-----
From: Rosemarie Moreken <rmoreken-tC47gz4GrgtWk0Htik3J/[email protected]>
Sent: Aug 11, 2004 11:47 AM
To:
Subject: (no subject)


Washington DC - Congress today announced that the Office of President of

the United States will be outsourced to overseas interests as of June
30th, the end of this fiscal year. The move is being made to save $400K
a
year in salary, a record $521 Billion in deficit expenditures and
related
overhead.

"The cost savings will be quite significant" says Congressman Adam Smith

(D - Wash) who, with the aid of the GAO (the General Accounting Office)
has studied outsourcing of American jobs extensively. "We simply can no
longer afford this level of outlay and remain competitive in the world
stage", Congressman Smith said.

Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of the termination of his
position. He will receive health coverage, expenses and salary until his

final day of employment. After that, with a two week waiting period, he
will then be eligible for $240 dollars a week from unemployment
insurance
for 13 weeks.

Unfortunately he will not be able to receive state Medicaid health
insurance coverage as his unemployment benefits are over the required
limit.

Preparations have been underway for some time for the job move. Sanji
Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India, will be assuming
the
Office of President of the United States as of July 1. Mr. Singh was
born
in the United States while his parents were here on student visas, thus
making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320
(US$) a month but with no health coverage or other benefits. Due to the
time difference between the US and India, Mr. Singh will be working
primarily at night, when offices of the US Government will be open.

"I am excited to serve in this position," Mr. Singh stated in an
exclusive
interview. "Working nights will let me keep my day job at the American
Express call center. I always knew I could be President someday."

Congress stressed patience when calling Mr. Singh as he may not be fully

aware of all the issues involved with his new position. A Congressional
Spokesperson noted that Mr. Singh has been given a script tree to follow

which will allow him to respond to most topics of concern. The
Spokesperson further noted that "additional savings will be realized as
these scripting tools have been successfully used by Mr. Bush and will
enable Mr. Singh to provide an answer without having to fully understand

the issue itself."

Mr. Bush has been offered the use of a Congressional Page to help him
write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to

Manpower, Inc., the placement firm, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in
securing a new position as job prospects in the Sports Franchise
Ownership
arena remain limited. A recently released report from the Pentagon
suggests a good prospect for him as a newly unemployed person may be in
the Army National Guard. There he would be called up with his unit and
stationed in Iraq, a country he has visited briefly before.

"I've been there, I know all about I-raq and the conditions there,"
stated
Mr. Bush. He gained invaluable knowledge of the country in his first
visit
at the Baghdad Airport non-smoking terminal and gift shop.

Meanwhile in Baghdad and Falluja, Iraq, sources report that local Iraqis

say Mr. Bush would receive an especially warm reception from them. Such
sources stated the Iraqis only request would be to be informed of which
convoy he would be riding in order to give him the welcome he deserves.

Congress continues to explore other outsourcing possibilities including
that of Vice-president and most Cabinet positions.



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