Re: [needs proofread] [needs translation] September Newsletter

Since this was sent out on Friday afternoon, Berlin time, these
suggestions may not be read in Berlin until Monday morning, but I'm
hurrying them out anyway so that others on the Translators List can
see them.  I seem to have fewer suggestions than usual, but I shall
perhaps give this newsletter draft another look before it is published
next week.

I am attaching a version of the xhtml you attached that reflects my
suggestions for improvements.

1.  "YH4F got a new sponsor and its 2024 edition now in its final
stage, and the ZOOOM project ended."  insert "is" after "edition."

2.  "and the need for change in the long-term"

(a)  Replace "long-term" with "long term."  When the phrase "long
term" is used as an adjective, the hyphen is optional.  See my #3(b),
below.  When the phrase is used as a noun, it should not have a
hyphen.

(b)  Insert a period [full stop] at the end of this sentence.

3.  "funding Free Software solutions with a long term sustainable funding."

(a)  Remove "a." (In addition to this being a usage matter, as this is
written there is a logical discrepancy.  The whole idea of long-term
funding is that it is not a single funding but a repetitive matter.)

(b)  I suggest replacing "long term" with "long-term."  Either is
acceptable, but I prefer the hyphenated form.

4.  Heading:  "YH4F Countdown: Time for Jury evaluation and new
sponsor on board"  Replace "Countdown" with "countdown" and "Jury"
with "jury"  There is no justification that I can see for these
capitalizations, which are inconsistent with other usage.  If these
changes are made, the Table of Contents should be changed to conform.

5.  "Do you also want to contribute to this contests?"  Replace "this"
with "these."

6.  "We are looking for more sponsors!For more information get in
contact with us via email"

(a)  Insert a space after the exclamation point.

(b)  Insert a period [full stop] at the end of the second sentence.

7.  "the ZOOOM toolkit and training materials, can contribute to
promote a healthier ecosystem"  Remove the comma after "materials."
In general -- and certainly in this case -- there should not be just a
single comma between a subject and the verb of a sentence.

8.  Alt text for the frOSC0n booth picture:  "The image is showing
FSFE booth with 5 white men behind it wearing Free Sotware tshirts."

(a)  Insert "the" before "FSFE."

(b)  I probably would not say "white," but I am not suggesting that
you change this.

(c)  Replace "Sotware" with "Software."  There is an English word
"sot," so "Free Sotware t-shirts" would be an interesting concept (or
just a nice pun).

(d)  Replace "tshirts" with "t-shirts."

9.  "The booth consists on a table that has several FSFE stickers,
promo material and Ada book and behind the people standing you can see
a FSFE banner and two FSFE tshirts hanging"

(a)  I suggest replacing "consists of" with "has."  The booth has
additional elements, like its walls.  If you do not adopt this
suggestion, replace "on" with "of" as a matter of  English usage.

(b)  Insert an Oxford comma after "material."

(c)  Insert "an" before "Ada."

(d)  Insert a comma after "book."  English grammar.

(e)  Replace "tshirts" with "t-shirts."


On Wed, Aug 28, 2024 at 8:44 AM Ana Galan <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> Dear translators,
>
> September newsletter is ready for your proofread and translation. You
> can find the file attached and in webpreview:
>
> https://webpreview.fsfe.org/cgi/fsfe.pl?pad=1269
>
> We will published it next Tuesday Sept 3.
>
> I will be off in the next days so @Bonnie will take care that it is
> published on Tuesday so please be sure she gets your feedback (as you
> know, she is in this list)
>
> Best,
>
> Ana
>
> --
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