Re: [proofread] [needs translation] May newsletter

Thank you.

I have proofread the webpreview, and attach a version with my
suggestions.  My file is generated from the xhtml generated by the
webpreview, but it is in .odt format to get the benefit of
highlighting my suggestions with the LibreOffice Track Changes
feature.

I am making the effort to do this quickly enough that you and the
translators will be able to work on it on Friday.

1.  Table of Contents:  "Simplifying FSFE translation process:
integrating LibreTranslate"  Insert "the" before FSFE.  English
grammar.  My #12, below, conforms to this.

2.  "From our Italian community!"  This differs from the heading in
the text, in which the exclamation point is replaced by the image of a
flag.  My suggestion is to replace the exclamation point here with the
flag.  Alternatively, you might omit both the exclamation point and
the flag as unnecessary.  See my #18, below.  Whatever is done, the
entry in the Table of Contents should agree with the heading in the
text.

For some reason, when I display my version of the file, what I see is
not the flag that I see in this message, 🇮🇹 , but the letters I and
T in little squares.

3.  Quote of the Month:  For some reason, in my version the
attribution of the Quote of the Month omits the initial long dash.  I
am not an xhtml expert, and cannot say what is causing this.  I have
put in a crude version of the long dash into my version, but I hope
that someone more knowledgeable will be able to see to it that the
final version is better.

4.  "The discussion was fruitful and we were happy to see an
increasing interest in this topic."  Insert a comma after "fruitful."
English grammar.

5.  "Please, feel free to share this to people, organisations and
companies that might be interested in this specific aspect of the DMA"

(a) I suggest removing the comma after "Please."  This comma is
optional, and since there is at least one comma fairly close after it,
I think that omitting this comma makes the sentence clearer.

(b)  Replace "to" with "with."  English usage.

(c)  I suggest inserting an Oxford comma after "organisations."  I see
Oxford commas elsewhere in this newsletter, notably in the form of
Oxford semicolons in the introductory paragraph of this newsletter.
The usage should be consistent.

(d)  Insert a period (full stop) at the end of this sentence.

6.  "and the sudden removal of the German Center for Digital
Sovereignty (ZenDiS in German) CEO, Jutta Horstmann."  I suggest
rewriting this as "and the sudden removal of Jutta Horstmann, the CEO
of the German Center for Digital Sovereignty (ZenDiS)."

(a)  As a matter of English usage the name (and title) of the person
removed should follow closely after "removal of."  As written, this
suggests that the organization is what was removed.

(b)  I suggest removing "in German."  "ZenDis" is a German
abbreviation, yes, but it is highly appropriate to report that
abbreviation in this English text.

7.  Heading:  'LLW 2025, “unperfect” discussions around Free Software
in a legal environment'  I am not suggesting any change to this
heading.  The normal word in English is "imperfect," not "unperfect."
I assume that one of these discussions was in English and that the
word "unperfect" is what was actually spoken.  If that is the case, to
quote this not-quite-English word reflects the flavor of the news
item, and I like it.  Of course, if what was said was the word
"imperfect" in English, or if some other word was spoken in English,
(or if the discussion was in grammatical German), this misspelling
should be corrected.

8.  The second and the short third paragraph under this heading should
not be indented.  Indenting them under the LLW event makes them look
as though they are part of that event.  I believe that this is
incorrect, that these paragraphs describe a different " 'unperfect'
discussion" from the discussions at the LLW.  (Although I was not able
to view the recording, it would be very surprising if you were to
publish a recording of a discussion at the LLW, since all such
discussions take place under the Chatham House Rule.)

9.  "are working together with representatives from civil society,
academia, industry and government in a project"  Insert an Oxford
comma after "industry."

10.  "Watch the recording of the first event in this series, which
took place on 3 April"

(a)  In addition to not indenting this sentence, when it was a
separate paragraph, I suggest adding this sentence to the previous
paragraph.  This sentence seems clearly to relate specifically to the
Dialogue project, not to the LLW discussion in the first paragraph
under this heading.

(b)  End this sentence with a period (full stop).

11.  "Free Software is key to reducing the dependencies of public
administration."  Replace "administration" with "administrations."
The next sentence starts "These administrations, including
municipalities, have the opportunity to advance the controllability
and manageability of their digital infrastructure."  If you are going
to talk about many administrations in the next sentence, you need to
use the plural form in this sentence.

12.  Heading:  "Simplifying FSFE translation process: integrating
LibreTranslate"  Insert "the" before FSFE.  English grammar.  This
conforms to my #1, above.

13.  "This is our in-house Free Software designed to support our
amazing volunteers in translating, and checking website content."
Remove the comma (after "translating").  English grammar.

14.  "Refund4Freedom is an Italian initiative from the FSFE and
Italian Linux Society (ILS) , that defends the right of consumers to
choose their operating system and to receive a refund for
pre-installed software when they buy a new device."

(a)  Insert "the" before the second occurence of "Italian" (before
"Linux").  English usage.

(b)  Remove the comma after "(ILS)" and the extra space before that comma.

15.  "open to any Italian enthusiast, volunteer, or supportersThis
initiative will help Italians to claim their refund"

(a)  Replace "supporters" with "supporter."  If the first two kinds of
people are listed in the singular, the third should also be in the
singular.  (It would be equally good, but a slightly larger change, to
put all three in the plural.  Take your pick.)

(b)  Insert a period (full stop) and a space between the sentences
(before "This").

16.  "Youth Hacking 4 Freedom would not be possible without the
amazing teenagers who join this contest, our incredible sponsors and
donors, whose support is vital, and our expert jury, who evaluate the
projects."  I suggest removing the commas after "donors" and "jury."
There are three items in this list:  the teenagers, donors, and jury.
The items in the list are separated by commas after "contest" and
"vital."  The commas that I suggest removing make the sentence look as
though the list is much longer.  (An alternative, which would also be
grammatically correct, would be to retain the commas after "donors"
and "jury" but replace the commas after "contest" and "vital" with
semicolons.  This would result in a more complex sentence.)

17.  "The FSFE is joining the celebrations of its sister organisation,
the Free Software Foundation, and it's 40 years of commitment to
software freedom."  Replace "it's" with "its," removing the
apostrophe.  (This is both a common grammar error in English and a
common typographical error.  "It's" -- despite the presence of an
apostrophe -- is not a possessive pronoun, but rather a contraction of
"it is."  "Its" is the possessive pronoun; like the English possessive
pronouns "his" and "hers" it does not have an apostrophe.)

18.  Heading:  "From our Italian community 🇮🇹"  This differs from
the entry in the Table of Contents, in which the image of a flag (as
it appears to me here in this message and in the webpreview) or the
letters I and T in little squares (as it appears to me when I look at
this heading in my attachment) is presented as an exclamation point.
See my #2, above.  My suggestion is stay with the colorful flag that I
see in the webpreview in this heading here in the text.
Alternatively, you might go with the exclamation point or omit both
the exclamation point and the flag as unnecessary.  Whatever is done,
the entry in the Table of Contents should agree with the heading in
the text.


On Wed, Apr 30, 2025 at 10:10 AM Ana Galan <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> Dear translators,
>
> the May newsletter is ready for your proofread and translation:
>
> https://webpreview.fsfe.org/cgi/fsfe.pl?pad=1439
>
> Thanks a lot!
>
> Best,
>
> Ana
> _______________________________________________
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