Q: What is the correct configuration for client and server when using '-nolisten'?

Due to the recent changes to Xorg et al., I've had two major breakages; one
with the update to `xinit` which now requires a `.startxwinrc`, and one
this week with the update to `xorg-server`.
I managed to work around the first breakage, but the second has required me
to roll back to the previous packages for both.
The issue I'm having is that, in spite of Doing It Right (`ssh -f -Y
user@remote_host xterm`), I'm now getting `connect /tmp/.X11-unix/X0:
Connection refused` when trying to connect to my servers (which are also
now, and always have been, running with `-nolisten tcp`).
To be explicit; rolling `xinit` back to 1.3.4-1 and `xorg-server` back to
1.16.3-1 fixed this immediately with no other changes, although I suspect
that the `xinit` downgrade may not be necessary.
What am I doing wrong?

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