Re: I Am Homophobic, et al

Hey Dru,

I really liked your piece as well.  I have to concur with it, too --
although since I have been in the Bay Area (San Francisco and Berkeley)
there has been to some extent a lessening of the relative privilege of
heterosexual identification.  To some extent, only, though, and only in
certain of my social circles.  Even amongst my gay friends at the law school
-- a pretty liberal place when it comes to tolerance of personal lifestyles
-- there is the perceived need to define the lines between hetero and homo.

For example, there is apparently a term for what I am as a politically and
personally supportive friend for my gay colleagues/friends -- I am a
"straight ally."  The very fact that this term exists speaks volumes.  Of
course, there is the good-natured mockery of my hetero-ness by my gay
friends, with which you can't live out here and not be acquainted.  But
there is also two important political components -- first, to show that the
gay community has *straight* supporters, not just fellow travelers who may
be "deviant" in the eyes of the mainstream society.  Second, the label
protects the straight supporter from being mistaken for homosexual, for good
reasons and bad.  The fact that I derive a certain comfort from this
indicates the depth of my own "homophobia" -- it is not enough simply to not
be interested in guys, but must also not be *identified* as someone who
might... now some of this comes from not wanting to get hit on by people I
would then have to deal with rejecting, but there is a strong "identity"
component... straight-up (pun intended) schoolyard stuff.

***

On another note, Kendall: -- were you satisfied with the response from
Websense?  I think that it would be worthwhile asking them for a
confirmation that the reference to MF in their database was changed and
disseminated.   Additionally, although the potential blocking of MF that may
have occurred already is annoying, it is innocuous enough from a defamation
standpoint, absent some indication to the prospective site browser that the
site was blocked for Racism/Hate.  Any dissemination of that
characterization to actual persons, however, is troubling -- sys admins,
corporate execs, IS people.. as well as anyone who entered the URL of MF
into their database on the website or elsewhere, and received the
Racism/Hate classification.  I would want to ask them for proof that they
contacted each of those persons and retracted that characterization -- you
might want to, perhaps.  They probably would balk, but who knows, if your
letter used the word "defamatory..."   ;-)

best, mbz

> From: "damien" <[email protected]>
> Reply-To: bonobos-4GNy1lrxftmrG/[email protected]
> Date: Wed, 14 Nov 2001 16:41:23 -0800
> To: <bonobos-4GNy1lrxftmrG/[email protected]>
> Subject: RE: [Bonobos] I Am Homophobic
> 
> Dru,
> 
> Speaking briefly (a la victime) as a multiply-bashed faggot with acquired
> male heterophobia, I'm slightly blown away by this piece of yours.  I've met
> few heterosexual males willing to consider their gendered privilege vis a
> vis us homos, much less draft a critique.
> 
> With your permission, I'd like to forward it on to some radical faeries I
> know ... ?
> 
> ]}amien
> 
> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: bonobos-admin-4GNy1lrxftmrG/[email protected]
>> [mailto:bonobos-admin-4GNy1lrxftmrG/[email protected]]On Behalf Of Dru Oja Jay
>> Sent: Wednesday, November 14, 2001 2:06 PM
>> To: bonobos-4GNy1lrxftmrG/[email protected]
>> Subject: [Bonobos] I Am Homophobic
>> 
>> 
>> On heterosexist fear and privilege.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> I Am Homophobic
>> By Dru Oja Jay
>> 
> 
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