Re: Two tactics [was Re: Is this anti-homophobia tactic sound?]

On Fri, 7 Dec 2001, Bijan Parsia wrote:

> 1) Manipulating the homophobia of a gay basher.
> 2) Trying to talk sincerely and offer a place where a person dealing with
> serious repression might find some safety.
>
> Note how these are *not* mutually exclusive, i.e, one could manipulate the
> homophobia of a repressed person.
>
> David introduces a third consideration, perhaps:
>
> 3) Being quiet or "non-hostile" *seeming* to avoid alienating third
> parties.
>
> I'm not sure that this is a tactic *per se*, although it seems to be an
> almost overriding consideration for David.

Being quiet and not being hostile are two entirely different things.

I think being outright hostile (in return to hostility) is likely to
alienate third parties, yes.  And I think this is an important
consideration.  I think this is especially important since I can't see any
particular benefits to being hostile here.

Being quiet, on the other hand, is different.  If you (or anyone) has a
response to Uncle Bob that is not hostile and you're willing to put the
energy into crafting it, I'm all for it.

After reading Kendall's explanation of _why_ he though his response was
warranted, it sounds like more of a reasonable idea to me.  The research
that Kendall cites was news to me.  I think that a well crafted response
to Uncle Bob along the lines of "you might need help" could certainly be
done.  I didn't think Kendall's original draft was all that great, but it
_was_ a draft.  I'd suggest that a better response would be longer and go
into greater depth on _why_ it is that Kendall thinks Bob might need help,
as well as citing the relevant literature (the study in the APA and any
other supporting materials).

> Furthermore, I would expect that kendall would/should send the above style
> note directly to Bob and not to the list. (Note: he *didn't* send it to
> the list, *per se*. So he's not actually *done* anything yet :)))

I agree.  There'd be no point in CC'ing a large group about such a thing,
Doing so would probably make it seem less sincere to the recipient, I'd
think.  It'd feel more like an outing and attempt to publically embarass
the recipient rather than an offer of help.


-dave

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