It's Not A Decent Harry Potter Movie

A quickie review of the harry potter film. Not as clever as I originally intended, but hey, neither was the film.

Not yet live, so if a monkeyfist-stud like kendall or niel would review it, we could do something.



It's Not A Decent Harry Potter Movie
URL: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/movie-1109764/
By Bijan Parsia

You may well ask, "Why did you go?" as I well knew that it was going to be
really bad. The problem was that my beloved was off doing music stuff and I
had to entertain my visiting mother. The easiest way to entertain her is to
go catch a flick. However, I didn't want to exclude my dearie from something
she'd want to see. She did not want to see Harry Potter.

But neither did I.

But I didn't want to see [1]The Lord of The Rings, even more.

"Not since the original "Star Wars" trilogy has film dipped into myth and
emerged with the kind of weight and heft seen in Peter Jackson's first
installment of J.R.R. Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" trilogy." Wow, can
[2]Jay Carr damn with faint praise or what?)

But I really knew that Harry Potter was stinky. So, how did I end up going?
I made the mistake of thinking, "Well, I've seen [3]Dungeons and Dragons, it
can't be worse than that"

I was right; it wasn't. But there is a considerable gulf between D&D, the
movie, level and "remotely non-painful". Harry fell into that gulf. Indeed,
in some ways, Harry Potter is a less enjoyable film than D&D. D&D, after
all, had a big baddie with mysterious blue lips. I laughed my way through
D&D. It wasn't that it was so bad it was good, far from it! It was so bad it
was funny.

Harry Potter wasn't even funny.

If only I had been guided by my darlin's reasoning. "Well, I was thinking,
for a little while, that I might want to see Harry Potter. But then I
thought, British child actors and came to my senses."

British child actors ... it really says it all.

After watching this film, my mother and I, without coordination, began using
"Harry Potter" as a synonym for "bad". As in, "That moldy yogurt smells very
Harry Potter."

Of course, it may be that I don't fully appreciate the badness of Harry
Potter. The Star Wars, Episode II, Attack of the Clones trailer so painful
that Harry was a bit of a relief.

 References:
   1. http://www.rottentomatoes.com/movie-1108476/
   2. http://ae.boston.com/movies/search/results.html?action=display&display=movie&id=30
   3. http://www.rottentomatoes.com/movie-1103052/



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Posted on Monkeyfist at http://monkeyfist.com/articles/802