Weekly Review

In a crass attempt to steal from Harper's, I'm trying my
hand at writing a "Weekly Review" feature. Here's the first fruit of that twisted tree.

Kendall




Weekly Review
By Kendall Clark

President Bush said that the U.S. would "use all the tools at our disposal"
to depose Saddam Hussein; a "regime change" in Iraq is "the stated policy of
this government". Iraq's refusal to agree to the resumption of UN weapons
inspections "indicates it continues to develop weapons of mass destruction",
the State Department said. Israeli officials sealed at gunpoint the offices
of a Palestinian university in Jerusalem for allegedly supporting Yasser
Arafat. Afghanistan observed a day of mourning after Vice President Abdul
Qadir was killed by two gunmen. Qadir is widely thought to have been
involved in the opium trade. Iran sent 15 battalions to the border regions
it shares with Pakistan and Afghanistan and is planning new anti-terrorism
laws. The Justice Department secretly deported 131 Pakistani detainees held
since the September 11 attacks, none of whom were charged with a crime; of
the original 1,100 persons detained after September 11, 74 remain in
custody.

Bush gave a speech intended to bolster confidence on Wall Street; "all
investment is an act of faith," he said, "in the long run, there is no
capitalism without conscience, there is no wealth without character". SEC
documents released by the Center for Public Integrity suggest that as a
board member Bush was "initially uncooperative" with the SEC's 1990
investigation of possible insider trading at Harken Energy. The Senate
authorized new penalties for corporate fraud, including a 10-year prison
term for securities fraud and stiffer penalties for CEOs and CFOs who
certify false financial reports. Bush refused to commit to signing
legislation containing the new penalties. A judge in Kansas City sentenced
two men to lecture students about the "evils of financial fraud" as part of
their plea agreement stemming from charges of conspiracy in a land fraud
scheme. A lawsuit was filed against VP Dick Cheney for fraudulent accounting
practices, which lead to the inflation of Halliburton shares. Bristol-Meyers
Squibb is under SEC investigation for possibly misstating 2001 revenues by
up to $1 billion. The House voted 310 to 113 to approve a bill that permits
airline pilots to carry guns on the job after receiving training and
requires self-defense training for all flight attendants. The bill is not
expected to pass in the Senate.

Jeremy Morse, a white police officer in Inglewood, CA, was placed on
administrative leave after a tourist's videotape showed him beating and
choking a handcuffed 16-year-old African American boy. The tourist was
subsequently arrested on outstanding warrants. Al Unser Jr., two-time winner
of Indy 500, was arrested for domestic battery of his girlfriend, Jena Soto,
who fled the car Unser was driving; when arrested, Unser denied knowing
Soto. Paul R. Shanley, a retired Catholic priest central to the child sex
abuse scandal in Boston, pleaded innocent to 10 counts of child rape and six
of indecent assault and battery; the Archdiocese of Boston began
receivingcomplaints about Shanley in 1967.

The Senate approved, 60 to 38, a $58 billion plan to store up to 70,000 tons
of nuclear waste at the Yucca Mountain facility, 90 miles northwest of Las
Vegas, overriding the governor of Nevada's veto of the project. Scientists
at SUNY Stony Brook have synthesized functional polio viruses using polio
virus RNA and other inert chemicals obtained by mail-order. UK Home
Secretary reclassified marijuana as a Class C drug, making it the criminal
equivalent of steroids and anti-depressants. Health Secretary Tommy
Thompson, in Barcelona to give a speech at the nternational AIDS conference,
was booed from the stage by ACT UP protesters who claimed that countries
like Norway, Sweden, and Rwanda give more, per capita of GDP, to the UN
Global AIDS Fund than the U.S. 75% of people in China know neither that AIDS
is caused by a virus nor how they can prevent themselves from being infected
by it; about 15% of China has never heard of AIDS. The University of the
Western Cape powered up the first supercomputer in Africa to be used solely
for research, including the work of AIDS researchers. A new, HIV-positive
character will join the cast of Sesame Street; it's likely to be a 5-year
old female, "monster muppet" character like Grover or Elmo.

Robert Ballard discovered the site of John F. Kennedy's PT-109, torpedoed in
1943 by a Japanese destroyer, in 1,200 feet of water near the Solomon
Islands. Ex-mayor of New York City Rudolph Giuliani and Donna Hanover
reached a divorce settlement in which Giuliani is to pay Hanover more than
$6.8 million. Rubens painting "The Massacre of the Innocents" sold for 50
million pounds sterling at Sotheby's. Anthropologists in Chad, Central
Africa, have found a largely intact skull, nicknamed "Toumai", that appears
to be 7 million years old. It may be the earliest evidence of a pre-human
ancestor. 'N Sync's Lance Bass arrived at the Russian Space Agency's
cosmonaut training center last week, continuing his attempt to become the
next space tourist. Bob Barker had prostate surgery. Ted Williams and Rod
Steiger died. The location of Williams' remains are unknown and the subject
of a court battle. After 11 innings, the All-Star game was halted in a tie.



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Posted on Monkeyfist at http://monkeyfist.com/articles/820