Re: First Bike!

On Mar 8, 2006, at 3:12 PM, Myers, Bob (Display Technology) wrote:

>> ...of all the non-silver options. The silver
>> model, having no actual color pigment, is
>> .000000000000000014372 grams lighter. Also, being
>> the lightest color, it absorbs fewer photons (which
>> are much heavier than most people think - the
>> typical photon weighs about as much as a month-old
>> kitten). Finally, since it reflects the most light,
>> silver is the fastest color when heading east in
>> the afternoon, or west in the morning. Thus, the
>> direction of your daily commute is an important
>> factor when choosing color.
>
> Oh, no, no, Grasshopper...and as much as it pains me to have to
> respectfully point out the error of your ways in the above, I must,
> sadly, do so.
>
> Silver paint, since the silver color in question comes from a
> suspension
> of fine particles of metallic substances (generally pure lead, or
> maybe
> plutonium or osmium or something even denser) is actually the HEAVIEST
> of the paints, by a good 3-4 whole milligrams per square cm.  Blue, on
> the other hand, is the lightest; think about what other things are
> blue
> - the most obvious example, of course, is the sky, and you don't get
> much lighter than that. So silver bikes start out at a significant
> disadvantage relative to their faster, and altogether MUCH
> nicer-looking, blue brethren.  (I won't even go into the effects that
> being in the presence of such heavy metals might have on the thought
> processes of those spending much time on or around said silver-painted
> vehicles; at this point, y'all probably wouldn't get it anyway...:-))
>
> Further, you unfortunately have been misinformed (undoubtedly the
> effects of an inadequate public-school education) as to the
> *extremely*
> significant effects of photonic reflection/absorption; nay, you
> have it
> exactly backwards! Photons themselves have very, very little mass, but
> of course it is well known that photons CAN carry significant
> momentum,
> and this is the principle behind such concepts as the "light-sail"
> spacecraft drive.  But to fully absorb this momentum, you want to -
> what?  That's right, ABSORB those photons, not reflect them.  Blue
> paint, since it absorbs most of the visible spectrum (including that
> nice peak in sunlight around the green) clearly will impart the most
> photon-carried momentum to the bike.

Ah, so silver is actually better for a west-east morning commute, as
it will accumulate less negative momentum from the photon impacts. I
stand corrected. Considering only photonic momentum, both bikes will
average out to the same speed on the track, with the silver pulling
ahead eastbound (assuming morning testing) and the blue catching up
when the track turns west.

You are right about blue absorbing photons, but I'm afraid you've
been fooled by what passes for "science" as to the mass of photons.
The lightest photons are similar in mass to a mid-sized hamster,
while the heaviest ones can mass as much as a very wet baby raccoon.
I know this because a guy told me once, I think.

Thus, on a particularly sunny day, the mass of a blue bike can
increase by several hundred pounds. Hey, check it and see, don't
listen to me!

As far as the metallic paint goes, it's true the silver paint
contains significant amounts of plutonium - this is one of the
reasons it's faster, actually - the pain caused by radiation burns
puts the body's nervous system on high alert, resulting in quicker
throttle response and faster shifts. Additionally, because of the
high metallic content of the paint, it's possible to use less metal
in the manufacture of the bike - possibly as much as 1/2 the amount
found in blue bikes. The paint actually forms a structural layer.
It's like wearing a lot of layers when you go camping - everyone
knows it's a good idea, and so it must be a good idea for bikes too.
Think about it....camping...outdoors........bikes....ALSO OUTDOORS!
It's EXACTLY THE SAME!

Therefore, I am right.


- the other Bob M.

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