WHAT'S NEW Friday, April 01, 2005

WHAT'S NEW   Robert L. Park   Friday, 1 Apr 05   Washington, DC

1. AMBIGUITY?: "..DEAD WRONG ON ALMOST ALL PRE-WAR JUDGEMENTS.." 
The President's Commission on Intelligence Regarding Weapons of
Mass Destruction released its report yesterday.  The media have
described it as "scathing."  It wasn't.  The cover letter
explained that intelligence professionals didn't fudge the data,
they really believed what they said.  "They were simply wrong." 
Like that's OK?  The President, appearing with the co-chairs at a
press conference, seemed pleased, even though in principle he's
responsible for anything that went on during his watch.  Whether
someone at the White House should have asked a few hard questions
wasn't in the Commission's charge.  Besides, the President fired
CIA Director George Tenet, who said the question of WMDs was a
"slam-dunk."  That was before Tenet was awarded the Presidential
Medal of Freedom http://www.aps.org/WN/WN04/wn121704.cfm.

2. PIGASUS: IT'S APRIL FIRST, THE PIG THAT FLIES IS ON THE WING. 
Yes, it's the day the coveted Pigasus Awards will be announced. 
The winners are informed by ESP, but their names came to me last
night as I slept, as in a dream.  The lucky winners will receive
handsome trophies of the Flying Pig via psychokinesis.  If they
don't get delivery they should look inwardly.  All the winners
and details will be posted today on Randi's web site
http://www.randi.org/jr/040105capitalizing.html. 

3. HIGHER AUTHORITY: EVANGELICALS RELY ON THE BIBLE FOR GUIDANCE. 
It's not just creationism.  The success of the religious right in
the last election seems to have led them to test the limits.  In
Colorado, the State Supreme Court took a man off death row after
it was disclosed that in imposing the death penalty, the jury had
consulted the bible (Leviticus 21:24, "an eye for an eye..."). 
In pharmacies around the country, devout pharmacists are refusing
to fill prescriptions for birth control and morning-after pills
because of their religious beliefs.  But surely the strangest
case is that of John Brown, an evangelical Christian from Dallas,
who founded Zion Oil.  It has always seemed ironic that the
"chosen land" should be the only place in the Middle East that
doesn't sit on a sea of oil.  Brown is convinced that passages in
the Old-Testament pinpoint the exact spot to drill: a field near
Afula.  In Deuteronomy 33:24 Moses said, "Most blessed of sons be
Asher... may he dip his foot in oil."  Asher's plot of land looks
like a foot to Brown, and he has a license to drill under the
toe.  This sort of Bible Code led the faithful to sink millions
in Brown's plan.  Lo, there came oilmen from the West.

4. JOE NEWMAN: LEGENDARY INVENTOR OF "THE ENERGY MACHINE" RETURNS
On Monday, he held a press conference here in the National Press
Building. Joe made one contribution to society in his lifetime,
by suing the Patent Office for denying him a patent.  The 1986
decision in Newman v. Quigg (the Patent Commissioner) is now
cited as the authority for denying patent applications for
perpetual motion machines out of hand.


THE UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND.  
Opinions are the author's and not necessarily shared by the
University of Maryland, but they should be.
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