Re: communication

Roy wrote:
>Yes, I would say that. When one says that he is
trying to bring
>"peace and understanding" and mixes in religion, one
has now
>introduced a major source of conflict and
misunderstanding. It's a
>matter of conflicting agendas.
>
>Roy

I must agree with your position above, mixing in
religion is highly likely
to disconnect people and introduce conflict and
misunderstanding. In fact
having any agenda put forth by a mediator (including
peace) is going to be
detrimental to the process. Once each side can
accurately say what the other
side needs, the conflict can usually be solved easily
between the parties
involved.

The process of NVC is not to put in or add
information,
it is simply to have each side discover what the other
needs.

One part of NVC deals with connecting with our
feelings and recognising the
wonderful needs we have that sometimes lie hidden
underneath  those
feelings. Sometimes we latch onto a strategy to get
our needs met and
mistakenly see the strategy as the need we must meet.
There is much more to
it than just this one concept, but recognising and
becoming aware of some of
the intricacies of communication enable us to be more
in touch with
ourselves. Until we can identify and connect to what
is happening inside us
we will not be able to share that with others. Through
NVC we also learn how
to connect with other's feelings and needs, not just
our own. The more aware
we all are of the needs of all of those involved, the
more likely that all
of our needs will be met.

To achieve this, some of the topics NVC deals with
are:
all feelings come from met or unmet needs,
the difference between thoughts and feelings,
the difference between a judgement and an observation,
the difference between a feeling and an evaluation,
and much more.
It's pretty down to earth stuff, no religion involved.

I just checked out the NVC organisation's websites,
and I must admit that
they are now giving out information on the author's
spiritual perspectives
through a Q+A session with him. There is a "booklet"
now for sale through
the web site which is an unscripted interview with
Marshal on the spiritual
basis of NVC. I assure you, it is not necessary for
you to learn about the
spiritual aspect to gain large rewards from picking up
skills in
communication. The information on the spiritual aspect
is not a part of "the
book" nor a part of any courses or workshops that
present NVC. (It is an
interesting read though and one Q+A can be reviewed
through the web site for
those interested.)

NVC is not about instilling religion, but in
liberating what is real and
alive in us. In Marshal's book "Non-violent
Communication: A Language of
Life", the information  is not all new, (if any) but
old knowledge from
around the world that he has learned and incorporated
together in one book.

Using and practising the concepts of NVC, as laid out
in the book, and as is
taught through training workshops around the world,
does not conflict with
atheism, agnosticism, hedonism or any other religious
affiliation, and will
allow communication between any of these groups. It is
not only useful in
conflicts but in all relationships of all types. This
is not a theory or
something new someone is just trying to do, NVC works.

Would you be interested in learning more about it
first hand through our
conversation?

Dan


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