[dylug] THERMODYNAMICS OF HELL

  
THERMODYNAMICS OF HELL

 

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington

chemistry mid term.  The answer by one student was "so profound" that

the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of

course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

 

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic

(absorbs heat)?

 

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law,

(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or

some variant.

 

One student, however, wrote the following:

 

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.  So we

need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they

are leaving.  I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to

Hell, it will not leave.Therefore, no souls are leaving.

 

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different

religions that exist in the world today.  Some of  these religions state

that if you are not a member of their  religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not

belong to more than  one religion, we can project that all souls go to

Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number

of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

 

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's

Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to

stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls

are added.

 

This gives two possibilities:

 

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls

enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase

until all Hell breaks loose.

 

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of  souls in

Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes

over.

 

So which is it?  

 

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman

year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you,"

and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having

a date with her, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is

exothermic and will not freeze.

 

The student received the only "A" given