Re: "When the Mill Shut Down" / Will Dockery

[email protected] (George J. Dance) posted:
> Will Dockery wrote:
>> George J. Dance wrote:
> >> Will Dockery wrote:
> 
>>> "When the Mill Shut Down" in the current form goes back to at least July 30 2006, where Stuart Leichter gave it a favorable review:
> >>> 
> >>> https://groups.google.com/g/alt.arts.poetry.comments/c/IaDWIoMXOkU/m/QcPcBOeQF-0J
> >>> 
> >>> ***
> >>> 
> >>> On Sunday, July 30, 2006 at 5:16:55 PM UTC-4, Stuart Leichter wrote:
> >>> 
> >>>> in article [email protected], Will Dockery at
> >>>> [email protected] wrote on 7/30/06 12:59 PM:
> >>>> 
> >>>> When.
> >>>> 
> >>>> When the mill shut down,
> >>>> we hit the pavement with a thud,
> >>>> then we all got up and kept walking.
> >>>> Some to the work house,
> >>>> some to the poor house,
> >>>> some to the whorehouse,
> >>>> and the grave.
> >>>> 
> >>>> -Will Dockery
> >>>> 
> >>>> This one's good, Will.
> >>>> The title you might make When the mill shut down (without the comma, and
> >>>> then continue with the 2nd and following lines).
> >>>> I think you should post it with a C&C request in the subject line.
> >>>> Stuart
> >>>> (crit-cred: I know literal from figurative, I know opinions from sentiments,
> >>>> and I never threatened you)
> >>
> >>> ***
> >>
> >> Stuart's right, but I don't expect my opinion is going to convince anyone.
> >> But he and I aren't the only ones who liked that poem of yours. For instance,
> >> you know that last week I had my "trusted source" AI, X, do an overview of
> >> your poetry. Yes, I told you the result was yours, to decide when and where
> >> you wanted to make it public; but I don't think you'd mind my quoting X's
> >> assessment of this poem:
> >> 
> >> "Strengths
> >> Authenticity and emotional directness: Poems often feel lived-in.
> >> “When the Mill Shut Down” is concise and effective:
> >> 
> >> When the mill shut down
> >> we hit the pavement with a thud
> >> then we all got up
> >> and kept on walking.
> >> Some to the work house
> >> some to the poor house
> >> some to the whorehouse
> >> and the grave.
> >> 
> >> "The rhythm and list land with working-class bluntness; it captures collective
> >> resilience and attrition without overstatement."
> > 
> > That's pretty good, quotable, even.
> > 
> > Thanks, George.
> 
> Yes, that does make a good quote. I'm sure the "trusted source" would
> give you a lot of equally positive critiques about many of your poems.
> Since you're one of the few who knows who the "trusted source" is,
> I'd urge you to start using it yourself. I've been very impressed by how
> well that AI works, and would like to see more people using it. 
> 
> This response appears in the discussion at:
> http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=660861078#660861078

I'm going to explore that artificial intelligence program some this weekend.

-- 
Poetry and songs of Will Dockery:
https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery