Re: A.A.P.C. FOLKLORE, Part Eleven

> HarryLime wrote:
> 
>> NancyGene wrote:
>> 
>>> Cujo DeSockpuppet wrote:
>>> [email protected] (HarryLime) wrote
>>> in news:[email protected]:
>>> 
>>> 
>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>> 
>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>> 
>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>> 
>>>> George J. Dance wrote:
>>>> 
>>>> MMP aka HarryLime aka Michael Pendragon aka Coco DeSockmonkey aka
>>>> One Small Voice, etc. wrote: [snip]
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> DISCLAIMER - "This isn't history, Donkey, but folklore. It's the
>>>> stories that have grown up regarding the members of AAPC over the
>>>> years. They may or may not be entirely true -- THEY MAY NOT EVEN
>>>> BE TRUE AT ALL." (Emphasis added) - MMP aka HarryLime aka Michael
>>>> Pendragon aka Coco DeSockmonkey aka One Small Voice, etc., on his
>>>> "A.A.P.C. Folklore" series.
>>>> http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=632244559&start=120
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> The infamous Steak Dinner story is well-documented via AAPC posts.
>>>> 
>>>> Here's the historically documented version:
>>>> 
>>>> Will Donkey introduces his friend, George Sulzbach to the group.
>>>> George proceeds to ingratiate himself to all and sundry by making
>>>> complimentary, one-word exclamations after everyone's posts.
>>>> 
>>>> Approximately, one week later, Will announces to the group that
>>>> George is about to be evicted from his trailer. George had been in
>>>> an automobile accident a year earlier, which left him unable to
>>>> work.  He was waiting on a check from the Veteran's Administration
>>>> (the receipt of which he was expecting hourly), but his landlord
>>>> was refusing to wait.  Will then wrung his hands in despair and
>>>> stated that he didn't know what to do.
>>>> 
>>>> Jim Senetto, otoh, did know what to do.  He took action.  He
>>>> offered to send George $50 to tide his landlord over until the
>>>> check arrived.
>>>> 
>>>> Will asked him to send the money in cash (as George no longer had a
>>>> bank account) and to send the cash to... Will Donkey  (as George,
>>>> being evicted, might not have a mailing address by the time the
>>>> cash arrived).  Jim readily complied.  Will asked Jim to let him
>>>> know when the cash was being sent so that he could know when to
>>>> check his p.o. box.
>>>> 
>>>> When Jim told Will that the cash was in the mail, Will promptly did
>>>> a 180, and informed Jim that the cash wouldn't help the situation,
>>>> as the landlord had been fed up with George's long overdue rent
>>>> payments.  He then warned Jim that George would probably blow the
>>>> money on booze, drugs, and w*ores.
>>>> 
>>>> Jim then asked Will to be in charge of the money, and to see that
>>>> it was spent wisely on food and supplies that a homeless person
>>>> might need to survive.  Will told him that George gets all of the
>>>> food he needs from food stamps and the local Safe House, and that
>>>> Georgia nights are rarely cold enough for a man to require a
>>>> blanket.
>>>> 
>>>> When the money arrived, Will called George (via Obama phone) and
>>>> told him that he'd just received some money from Jim, and invited
>>>> George to join him and Brother Dave for steak dinners at a local
>>>> eatery.  Will's communication to George made it decidedly unclear
>>>> as to whether George knew that the $50 had been intended for him.
>>>> 
>>>> The following day, Will emailed Jim and informed him that his $50
>>>> had been well spent -- on a steak dinner for three.
>>>> 
>>>> Jim was, understandably, less than thrilled with this news.
>>>> 
>>>> A day or so later (Will insists that it was several days), Will
>>>> posted a disturbing story about a "maniac" attacking him and
>>>> Brother Dave with a metal rod, hurting Will's elbow, and leaving
>>>> Dave's head bloodied and bruised.  Dave died two years later,
>>>> possibly as a result of the injuries he'd received that night.
>>>> 
>>>> The following day, Will identified the "maniac" as having been
>>>> George.
>>>> 
>>>> It was theorized that George had seen some of the AAPC posts,
>>>> wherein Jim spoke of having sent the money *for* George, and
>>>> realizing that Will had bilked him out of the $50, attacked the
>>>> Dockery brothers in an angry fit of revenge.
>>>> 
>>>> The following weeks saw Jim demanding that Will amend for the
>>>> misappropriation of George's relief money by donating the same
>>>> amount to a worthy charity.  Will then wrote a check to his own
>>>> daughter for $50, but this appeared to be another scam.  It was
>>>> then decided that Will donate the money to an animal shelter
>>>> supported by Kevin Fries -- which more or less resolved the
>>>> situation.
>>>> 
>>>> Both Will and George claimed that they'd never asked for any money,
>>>> and that they had the right to spend Jim's money any way they
>>>> damned well pleased.  Nor did either of them ever thank, or
>>>> apologize to, Jim.
>>>> 
>>>> The hourly-expected check from the Veteran's Administration never
>>>> arrived.
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> Will's excuse for using the money to buy a steak dinner for three
>>>> (and I quote):
>>>> 
>>>> "Well, knowing Sulzbach as I do, I was pleasantly surprised he
>>>> decided to spend the money on something other than booze and drugs.
>>>> Or beer, wine, weed or hookers..."
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> It's been a while since our perpetually unemployed Donkey has been
>>>> able to afford a McSteak dinner -- not since DirtNap Daves Disability
>>>> checks stopped coming in.
>>>> 
>>>> Sarah Donkeytits is said to be starting a GoFundMe drive to help Will
>>>> get his steak.
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> OTOH, Will Donkey is probably no longer able to eat steak anymore.
>>>> His few remaining teeth are twisted and sticking out at weird angles.
>>>> A steak dinner would most likely cost him the few teeth he still has
>>>> left.
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> View the attachments for this post at:
>>>> http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=709698041#709698041
>>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> DOUCHEBAG SNAGGLETOOF BUMP!!! DOUCHEBAG SNAGGLETOOF BUMP!!!
>>> DOUCHEBAG SNAGGLETOOF BUMP!!! DOUCHEBAG SNAGGLETOOF BUMP!!!
>>> DOUCHEBAG SNAGGLETOOF BUMP!!! DOUCHEBAG SNAGGLETOOF BUMP!!!
>>> DOUCHEBAG SNAGGLETOOF BUMP!!! DOUCHEBAG SNAGGLETOOF BUMP!!!
>>> 
>>> Douchebag!
>>> 
>>> --
>>> "I've known for over a year that this guy is the assassin of the Usenet
>>> poetry community. When I first arrived, I thought he was keeping the
>>> lights on in a dead group by reposting from archives. I soon realized
>>> that he was just endlessly reposting his own stuff, that he had killed
>>> the group by flooding it, and that most of the people he called
>>> "trolls" were actually the members of the group.
>>> I've joined the crowd. I'm done trying to work with him and speak reason
>>> to him. It's exhausting and pointless." - Little Willie Douchebag gets
>>> another asskicking from The One True Melissa
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> Dental health = heart health, so the Donkey doesn't have long anyway.  Steak dinners are for the living.
> 
> 
> 
> As long as he can gum his way through a stack of waffles, he's happy.




Speaking of gums... I haven't seen any recent Donkey photos.  Does anyone know if the snaggletoof is still hangin' in there? 


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http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=709196654#709196654

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