Re: A.A.P.C. FOLKLORE, Part Twenty-Four
[email protected] (NancyGene)
| Newsgroups | alt.arts.poetry.comments |
|---|---|
| Message-ID | <[email protected]> |
> HarryLime wrote: > >> NancyGene wrote: >> >>> HarryLime wrote: >>> >>>> NancyGene wrote: >>>> >>>>> HarryLime wrote: >>>>> >>>>>> NancyGene wrote: >>>>>> >>>>>>> Cujo DeSockpuppet wrote: >>>>>>> [email protected] (NancyGene) wrote in >>>>>>> news:[email protected]: >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> HarryLime wrote: >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> HarryLime wrote: >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> HarryLime wrote: >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> George J. Dance wrote: >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> MMP aka HarryLime aka Michael Pendragon aka Coco DeSockmonkey aka >>>>>>>> One Small Voice, etc. wrote: [snip] >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> DISCLAIMER - "This isn't history, Donkey, but folklore. It's the >>>>>>>> stories that have grown up regarding the members of AAPC over the >>>>>>>> years. They may or may not be entirely true -- THEY MAY NOT EVEN >>>>>>>> BE TRUE AT ALL." (Emphasis added) - MMP aka HarryLime aka Michael >>>>>>>> Pendragon aka Coco DeSockmonkey aka One Small Voice, etc., on his >>>>>>>> "A.A.P.C. Folklore" series. >>>>>>>> http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=632244559&start=120 >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> Practically all of the information contained in the folklore cited >>>>>>>> above can be confirmed by Will Donkey's posts, Will Donkey's >>>>>>>> autobiographical notes (posted on G.J. Dunce's wiki pages, or in >>>>>>>> public records. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> There is additional folklore about their relationship (as in Will's >>>>>>>> pimping Kathy out for tacos), but that appears to be purely a >>>>>>>> matter of conjecture predicated upon Kathy's abandoning her >>>>>>>> children, pretending to be dead, and planning to establish a new >>>>>>>> life for herself in Texas under an assumed name. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> One of the reasons why so much lore has arisen regarding Kathy's >>>>>>>> life, is that the dates and timelines change drastically regarding >>>>>>>> her story every time Will Dockery retells it. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> On top of this, the idea that a young mother would leave her toddler >>>>>>>> with her parents, and spend between 1 - 3 months (depending on which >>>>>>>> version of the story one reads) in a self-designed witness >>>>>>>> protection program from her husband makes one wonder just what Will >>>>>>>> Dockery had been doing to her at the time. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> Her parents appeared to be aware of what was going on, but refused >>>>>>>> to tell Will anything, and the local police attempted to make Will >>>>>>>> think that she was dead. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> According to Will, she simply didn't come home from her job as a >>>>>>>> waitress one night. He "looked all over" for several hours, then >>>>>>>> proceeded to get drunk, stoned, and to engage in sex with the local >>>>>>>> sl*ts. Eventually, he received word from a sanitarium that she'd >>>>>>>> checked herself in at Will's expense. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> Since Will often mentions that he enjoys the services of "ladies of >>>>>>>> the evening," a story arose that he was pimping Kathy out for taco >>>>>>>> change. In some of the more lurid versions of this folk tale, he >>>>>>>> pimped young Clay out as well. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> Kathy finally decided to end the marriage when Clay found a Donkey >>>>>>>> poem and asked his mother if Dad really at a cat. It turns out that >>>>>>>> Will had been writing poems about his sexual liaisons with his >>>>>>>> co-workers and self-published them in a chapbook. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> According to one story by Will Donkey, Kathy wasn't mad that he >>>>>>>> cheated on her, but that he'd performed oral sex on the co-worker >>>>>>>> while she was driving a pizza delivery car -- but had always refused >>>>>>>> to do it with Kathy. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> Either way, the marriage ended for good. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> Kathy remarried again, and Will spent his Christmases peeking in her >>>>>>>> living room to see the presents underneath the tree. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> That is a dispiriting tale (tail?). And Will Donkey, after Kathy's >>>>>>>> death, started to drag her corpse around Shitholeville and on the "You >>>>>>>> might be from Shitholeville if" website. He still drags her, >>>>>>>> continually posting her picture and calling her his late wife, just >>>>>>>> for sympathy. People think that Will is a grieving widower, and Will >>>>>>>> Donkey accepts their condolences with a few ceremonial sniffs. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> The "Corpse-Dragging Douchebag" ought to be part of AAPC Folklore. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> What say ye? >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> -- >>>>>>> "I've known for over a year that this guy is the assassin of the Usenet >>>>>>> poetry community. When I first arrived, I thought he was keeping the >>>>>>> lights on in a dead group by reposting from archives. I soon realized >>>>>>> that he was just endlessly reposting his own stuff, that he had killed >>>>>>> the group by flooding it, and that most of the people he called >>>>>>> "trolls" were actually the members of the group. >>>>>>> I've joined the crowd. I'm done trying to work with him and speak reason >>>>>>> to him. It's exhausting and pointless." - Little Willie Douchebag gets >>>>>>> another asskicking from The One True Melissa >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> Yes, that is a highlight of the Shitholeville folklore. Donkey dragged so many corpses that he made a new road through the town. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> One of the reasons Donkey loves corpse-dragging, is that he can pretend that he and the deceased were friends without fear of being contradicted by them. >>>> >>>> >>>> Yes, and most of them wanted to shoot Will Donkey. Lady K hated the Donkey's guts and wanted nothing to do with him, yet he drags her around like she was a possession he lost. >>> >>> >>> According to one of the Donkey's poems, he once wandered the empty streets on Christmas and peeked in the window of the house where his ex-wife who had married again and ex-children lived with their new father. >>> >>> I've always suspected that he was second-handing that story from Stella Dallas, but who knows? >> >> >> >> Stella Dallas: "I've always been known to have a stack of waffles!" > > > > "With a pound of butter, and a gallon of maple syrup on top!" Stella Dallas to Will Donkey: "You don't have to tell me what you wrote, just tell me what you meant." This response appears in the discussion at: http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=709207651#709207651 -- Via JLA Forums web gateway for alt.arts.poetry.comments: http://www.jlaforums.com/viewforum.php?f=655