Re: A.A.P.C. FOLKLORE, Part Eighteen

[email protected] (HarryLime) wrote
in news:[email protected]: 

>> Cujo DeSockpuppet wrote:
>> [email protected] (HarryLime)
>> wrote in news:[email protected]:
>> 
>> 
>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>> 
>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>> 
>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>> 
>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>> 
>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>> 
>>> George J. Dance wrote:
>>> 
>>> MMP aka HarryLime aka Michael Pendragon aka Coco DeSockmonkey
>>> aka One Small Voice, etc. wrote: [snip]
>>> 
>>> 
>>> DISCLAIMER - "This isn't history, Donkey, but folklore. It's the
>>> stories that have grown up regarding the members of AAPC over
>>> the years. They may or may not be entirely true -- THEY MAY NOT
>>> EVEN BE TRUE AT ALL." (Emphasis added) - MMP aka HarryLime aka
>>> Michael Pendragon aka Coco DeSockmonkey aka One Small Voice,
>>> etc., on his "A.A.P.C. Folklore" series.
>>> http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=632244559&start=120
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> Not much was said here for the necessity of a disclaimer.  George
>>> J. Dance is married to a woman named Maureen.
>>> 
>>> In the photos that George Dunce posted of her, she appears to be
>>> morbidly obese (to put it mildly).
>>> 
>>> The Moose, of course, is purely part of the legend, but one
>>> should think that would be taken as a given.
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> The Moose appears to have stepped into the folklore based on the
>>> common knowledge that Moose are plentiful in Canuckistan.
>>> 
>>> Since Dunce is afraid to "go beneath the sheets" with his wife,
>>> the natural assumption to make would be that he sought out, and
>>> discovered, a means to improvise.  A little Moose make-up, an
>>> XXX-Large dress or lingerie item, and Dunce is all set for the
>>> long winter nights.
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> George J. Dunce suffers from erectile dysfunction, and the little
>>> blue pills just aren't working for him.  This affliction has caused
>>> further strain on his already strained marriage, and the Moose are
>>> none too happy about it as well (as the only "John" in miles, the
>>> Moose depend entirely upon Dunce for sustenance).
>>> 
>>> 
>>> Dunce and his family live in a House-in-the-Box in Canuckistan
>>> (somewhere in the vicinity of Toronto, Canada).  George used to pack
>>> books for a living, and got the ingenious idea to use the large
>>> packing boxes to build an inexpensive house.
>>> 
>>> Little Boy George had grown up in a different sort of
>>> House-in-the-Box -- a prefabricated house that was shipped in a
>>> large crate and had only to be assembled.  But Dunce's experiences
>>> in his father's house (as he would later come to refer to it) were
>>> anything but pleasant.
>>> 
>>> Nor, for that matter, is his life in house made out of boxes.  When
>>> Big Mo isn't bullying him with a rolling pin, you can be sure that
>>> one of the Moose is taking her place.
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> Ready... aim... MOO-AAAGH!
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> According to Little Boy George's poem, "My Father's House-in-a-Box,"
>>> he was forced to do chores all day, not allowed to join their
>>> neighborhood kids in their Moose games, was considered a "filthy
>>> thing" by his mother, was not allowed to make any noise, and was
>>> forced to lie in bed each night with his pajama pants pulled down to
>>> allow his father easy access to his backside (allegedly for
>>> whipping). 
>>> 
>> 
>> 
>> So the whole problem stems from moose deprivation? Amazing work!
>> 
>> I have no joke here, I just like saying "moose deprivation".
>> 
> 
> Occasionally, Dunce would sneak outside to join the local Moose in
> their games.  But the Moose always made fun of him, like tricking him
> into eating yellow sno-cones. 
> 
> 
> View the attachments for this post at:
> http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=710243778#710243778

<SPLORF!> 

You'll be hearing from the Loyal Order of Moose about this. 

-- 
"I've known for over a year that this guy is the assassin of the Usenet
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lights on in a dead group by reposting from archives. I soon realized
that he was just endlessly reposting his own stuff, that he had killed
the group by flooding it, and that most of the people he called
"trolls" were actually the members of the group.
I've joined the crowd. I'm done trying to work with him and speak reason
to him. It's exhausting and pointless." - Little Willie Douchebag gets 
another asskicking from The One True Melissa