Re: The Douchebag of the Columbus Shed

> NancyGene wrote:
> 
>> HarryLime wrote:
>> 
>>> NancyGene wrote:
>>> 
>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>> 
>>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>>> 
>>>>>> NancyGene wrote:
>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>> NancyGene wrote:
>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> NancyGene wrote:
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>>>> cujodemaniac wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>> Douchebag, douchebag, acting crass,
>>>>>>>>>>>> In what strange bar did you amass?
>>>>>>>>>>>> What awkward jokes and boorish stare,
>>>>>>>>>>>> Could frame thy socially unaware?
>>>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>>>> In what vile chat did you take hold?
>>>>>>>>>>>> And what crude story did unfold?
>>>>>>>>>>>> What twisted logic, strained and weak,
>>>>>>>>>>>> Could forge thy comments, so oblique?
>>>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>>>> What is that stench, it is not cologne?
>>>>>>>>>>>> What blighted shed you call your own?
>>>>>>>>>>>> What vapid thoughts begin to bloom,
>>>>>>>>>>>> And why Jordy, tring to groom?
>>>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>>>> Douchebag, douchebag, big fat crass,
>>>>>>>>>>>> How many backyard dumps did you amass?
>>>>>>>>>>>> What awkward verse and vacant stare,
>>>>>>>>>>>> Could frame thy socially unaware?
>>>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>>>> Unceasing apologies to William Blake.
>>>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>>>> --
>>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> Jordy was willing to be groomed, of course.  William Blake would be flattered and appalled.
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> The photo of Will Donkey performing his backward dump maneuver either in his backyard or at Zod's former campsite is graphic.  Jordy may be horrified and have an emoji fit.
>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>> Hey, a Donkey's gotta doo what a Donkey's gotta doo.
>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>> As fat as Will Donkey is and as much as he eats, he must have a lot of doo to do.
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> Will's dug, and filled, holes all over Columbus.
>>>>>> 
>>>>>> 
>>>>>> Is that why he has so many cats--to cover up his doo dumps?  We heard that Stoned Man the Cat died of sensory overload.
>>>>> 
>>>>> 
>>>>> The cats don't cover his doo dumps -- they eat it.  Will can't afford cat food now that DirtNap's Disability check has been stopped.
>>>>> 
>>>>> There are many rumors about how Stoneman met his end.  Some say he overdosed on cracknip; others say that he got drunk one night and picked a fight with Mildred's latest dog.  I'm leaning toward the more mundane rumor that Will accidentally sat on him.
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> Folks say Stoneman's hide served as a "sail kitty" frisbee for several years... until Will lost his pizza delivery boy job and was forced to eat it.
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> Stoned Man looks uncomfortable, but that is definitely Will Donkey's living room (dead room).  Stinky G used to play with sail cats when they were too dry to eat without a liter of cheap wine.  Will couldn't deliver pizzas on foot, since sometimes he had to wear the boxes as shoes.  Also, DirtNap died, so no car.
>> 
>> 
>> Sail cats were a rare treat for Stinky G.  Mostly he had to content himself with sail rats.
>> 
>> Will lost his pizza delivery job long before DND's demise.  At some point (prior to my joining AAPC), Will used to regale the other AAPC members with tales of his adventures working at Parnello's Pizzeria.  I'm not sure when that was, but probably a few years after his Booger picture was taken (approximately 25 years ago).
>> 
>> I'm guessing (Will is free to correct me if I'm wrong) that he quit his job at Parnello's shortly after Kathy divorced him, as he moved back into the Mildred's shed and lived off of her and DND's government checks.
> 
> 
> Sail cats patrol the Chattahoochee during storms.  They have lifeguard training that is good for 9 times.
> 
> Will lost his job at Parnello's when the Feds raided the place.  Will posed as a giant pepperoni and was spared arrest.  Will did move into Mildred's storage shed and pretty much never moved--certainly never worked again.  Joey Stout was conceived in the middle of the street, as Joey's mother didn't want to get dirty in the shed.  Mildred and DND's checks still go to the Dockery hovel, and Will cashes them (forges signatures).  Mildred is still there in some form, but DND had to go, so he was dumped over the edge of the hill, pieced out.




I'm afraid to ask if the Shed has a fruit cellar. 


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