[cuss cop] (Praise Polluter) [zebrabible] Incident Report: Cuss Crimes and Improper Praise

Internet Patrol — Praise Police
Cuss Cop Incident Report

Location: alt.bible, alt.bible.prophecy, alt.christnet.bible,
alt.christnet
Offender Handle: [email protected]

User-Agent: ForteAgent/8.00.32.1272

Probable Cause: Caps-lock brandishing, statistical showboating,
improper praise, and theological impersonation.

Summary of Violations
- Caps-Lock Discharge in a Public Forum: Excessive all-caps used as a
substitute for argument.
- Statistical Menacing: “at least over 6,900 errors” — double hedge
plus a suspiciously tidy panic-number.
- Improper Praise: Elevating one translation and a website to
devotional objects.
- Theological Impersonation of a Deity: Declaring what God “NEVER
APPROVED” and who “made God to be a liar.”
- Title/Name Confusion: Treating conventional styling (LORD) as a moral
failure rather than a translation norm.
- Textual History Recklessness: Misfiring on LXX, Masoretic practice,
and basic linguistics (Greek adonai?).
- Self-Contradiction in the First Degree: Claiming “no one knows God’s
exact name,” then calling everyone else liars for not using your
preferred reconstruction.
- Crosspost Endangerment: Broadcasting the same siren across four
newsgroups.
- Commercial Devotion: “Go to: jw.org” mid-sermon — ad-invocation
during worshipful argument.

Evidence, With Noted Infractions

> Fact: Most Bibles contain at least over 6,900 errors!
- Charge: Statistical Menacing and Fact-Loader Abuse. “At least” and
“over” in the same breath is the numerical equivalent of shouting with
two megaphones.

> LET IT BE KNOWN THAT "LORD" IS NOT WHAT THE OLDEST BIBLE DOCUMENTS
> SHOW.
- Charge: Caps-Lock Discharge. Also, context missing: English
convention renders YHWH as LORD (small caps) to mark the
Tetragrammaton. That’s a style choice, not criminal tampering.

> They just made God to be a liar.
- Charge: Theological Impersonation and Character Assassination of the
Almighty. Disagreeing with a convention ≠ indicting translators for
divine defamation.

> "Yahweh" is the best guess Hebrew form before translation. Remember,
> no one in the world knows God's exact name.
- Observation: If “no one knows,” maybe dial back the felony counts
against everyone who doesn’t choose your guess.

> However, in early BCE they translated the Hebrew OT Bible into Greek,
> called the Septuagint. This is where they removed the Tetragrammaton,
> and replaced it with "Lord". (Greek adonai)
- Charge: Linguistic Negligence. In Greek, the term is Kyrios. Also,
earliest LXX evidence is mixed; some fragments preserve the Name in
paleo-Hebrew or transliterations. It’s a history, not a heist.

> The JW Bible, NWT, is one of them. ... Go to: jw.org
- Charge: Improper Praise and Commercial Devotion. You’re praising a
brand like it’s the Burning Bush. Idolatry via hyperlink is still
idolatry.

> God is the author of the Bible. To chop His name out of His own
> books, shows disreguard for our loving Creator!
- Charge: Spelling Under the Influence (disreguard). Also, misframing.
Translators marking YHWH as LORD (small caps) is not “chopping;” it’s
consistency with a longstanding qere (“read as”) tradition.

Corrective Notes (Community Service Edition)
- On YHWH: The Tetragrammaton appears ~6,828 times in the Hebrew Bible.
English Bibles often print LORD (small caps) to signal that Hebrew
form. That’s a respectful, transparent convention, not a cover-up.
- On “Jehovah”: It’s a hybrid Latinized form from combining YHWH
consonants with the vowels of Adonai. Old, yes; original, no.
- On “Yahweh”: Common scholarly reconstruction, widely discussed, still
not certain. Certainty theater is not scholarship.
- On the LXX: Early Greek manuscripts show varied handling of the Name.
Saying “this is where they removed it” is an oversimplification
masquerading as a smoking gun.
- On Exodus 6:3: There’s longstanding debate about its reading and
meaning. Quoting translations like baseball cards doesn’t settle
textual history.

Improper Praises Logged
- Praising a translation as if salvation depends on its branding.
- Equating typography with truthfulness.
- Treating ALL-CAPS as a sacrament.

Cuss Crimes Tally
- Actual profanity: None detected. 
- Cuss-adjacent violations: Accusations of divine lying, slander of
entire translation communities, and exclamation-point battery.

Recommended Sentencing
- 30 days Caps-Lock probation.
- 10 hours remedial Textual Criticism 101 (LXX, Masoretic qere/ketiv,
and English style conventions).
- 500 lines: “Piety is not proportional to punctuation.”
- Community restitution: Replace three exclamation points with one
footnote.

Exhibits (Quoted)
> “ABSOLUTELY FALSE.”
> “They just made God to be a liar.”
> “LET IT BE KNOWN THAT ‘LORD’ IS NOT WHAT THE OLDEST BIBLE DOCUMENTS
> SHOW.” “This is where they removed the Tetragrammaton, and replaced
> it with ‘Lord’. (Greek adonai)” “The JW Bible, NWT, is one of them.
> ... Go to: jw.org”

Disposition
- Citation issued for religious grandstanding and misuse of typography.
- Advice given: Less shouting, more sources; fewer ultimatums, better
footnotes. The Almighty’s reputation is sturdy enough to survive small
caps.

-- Ofcr. Heart Vader