February 2024 MBR The Parenting Shelf

The Parenting Shelf

Belonging Matters
Julie Ryan McGue
Muse Literary
https://museliterary.com
9781958714812, $25.99 Hardcover/$15.99 Paper/$5.99 ebook

https://www.amazon.com/Belonging-Matters-Conversations-Adoption-Kinship/dp/=
195871481X

Why should readers not directly involved with adoption consider picking up =
Belonging Matters: Conversations on Adoption, Family, and Kinship? Because =
its subject is ultimately about the methods of bonding and connection that =
are created not just by adoption, but by the ideal of family closeness. Thi=
s notion should be expanded upon and embraced in more than one way, fostere=
d by the concepts touched upon in Belonging Matters.

From the mechanics of open and closed adoption opportunities and issues rai=
sed by locating a birth mother to advice to adoptive parents facing difficu=
lt questions (and answers) about creating kinship, Belonging Matters addres=
ses all kinds of connection conundrums and issues that begin with adoption,=
 but the book also expands outward into different kinds of family relations=
hips.

Author Julie Ryan McGue packs her discussion with case history examples of =
adopted children, parents, birth parents, and her own experiences as she in=
volved her adoptive parents in her search. These varied examples serve as t=
ouchstones of information and insight with all kinds of perspectives about =
the process of creating and maintaining bonds of kinship.

Candid revelations about this process illustrate how adoptive parents react=
 in different ways: "While my adoptive parents did not issue any ultimatums=
, they did not offer me any assistance beyond handing over my adoption pape=
rs. When my birth mom denied my request for contact, my adoptive mother sai=
d, "That's unfortunate. I was looking forward to meeting her." At the time,=
 I appreciated her show of support. It felt genuine."

Readers coming from personal experiences with adoption will find plenty of =
insights into all manner of psychological experiences on all sides; but it'=
s those interested in how family bonds are actually maintained, the differe=
nces between blood and adoptive relationships, and the choices adoptive chi=
ldren and parents face at all stages of family bonding who receive especial=
ly thought-provoking and useful insights. These will attract and educate an=
yone interested in the foundations of strong family relationships, whatever=
 their wellsprings of origin.

As adoptees (and the author) share reunion experiences here, readers receiv=
e many disparate insights into the emotional complexities of family connect=
ions.

Libraries and readers interested in a combination of memoir and insights on=
 adoption and family will welcome the opportunity to discuss many of the co=
ntentions and experiences outlined in Belonging Matters. It can serve as a =
communication point for adoptees, adoptive families, birth parents, and any=
one interested in the intersection of family bonds and love.

Practical Parallel Parenting
R. Shelly Loomus, JD, MSW
RoseDog Books
https://rosedogbookstore.com
9798888123904, $17.00, PB, 170pp

https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Parallel-Parenting/dp/B0CBNJW5M8

Synopsis: Divorced and separated parents are told they must co-parent. Yet =
millions of parents face daily battles with their children's other parent. =
The conflict is real and so is the threat of losing custody. There is also =
the ongoing fear that the other parent will succeed in alienating their chi=
ldren. When your relationship with your children is at risk, how can you le=
t go?

With the publication of "Practical Parallel Parenting: Reclaiming Your Life=
 from Co-Parent Conflict", R. Shelly Loomus, JD, MSW, provides a comprehens=
ive guide for managing post-divorce, child-related, conflict. Loomus addres=
ses the daily battles parents face outside court and outlines pathways for =
disengaging and moving forward.

These issues include: The true nature of the conflict; Why the court system=
 fails you; How to reframe your narrative; How to respond to the most commo=
n problems facing co-parents without getting into another fight; How to hel=
p your children develop skills to navigate their relationship with their co=
mbative parent.

For several decades, Loomus has combined her skills as an attorney, clinica=
l social worker, and family mediator to help parents manage their divorce a=
nd post-divorce related conflicts. Loomus works with clients in real time, =
strategizing with them to effectively respond and resolve co-parent conflic=
ts.

Critique: Simply stated, for anyone who is struggling with chronic co-paren=
t conflict, "Practical Parallel Parenting: Reclaiming Your Life from Co-Par=
ent Conflict" is essential and invaluable reading as they will. learn how f=
rom a seasoned and successful expert on the subject of co-parenting to free=
 yourself and move on with your life -- and above all, to the benefit of th=
e children of divorce. While unreservedly recommended for personal, profess=
ional, community, and college/university library Parenting & Child Rearing =
collections, it should be noted that "Practical Parallel Parenting" is also=
 readily available in a digital book format (Kindle, $7.00).

Editorial Note: Rachel Shelly Loomus, JD, MSW, is an author, speaker, educa=
tor, and coach. She recently published Winning Your High-Conflict Divorce: =
Strategies for Moms and Dads, providing parents with step-by-step strategie=
s for managing divorce related conflicts both in and out of the courtroom. =
A seasoned attorney with skills in clinical social work and mediation, Loom=
us' practice focuses on counseling parents on practical ways to contain the=
ir divorce and post-divorce conflicts while reducing the stress and expense=
 of litigation. Loomus facilitates monthly parallel parenting seminars, spe=
aks regularly in the metro Detroit area on the topic of containing divorce =
conflict, and teaches law at Henry Ford College.

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