LNH: Leadership CRASH! Net.ropolis 2025 #2x31: "Face the Consequences! Hope You Survive the Experience?"

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[       NET.ROPOLIS 2025!                                    \|__|            >
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[       Issue #2x31:                                                          >
[               "Face the Consequences!                                       >
[                         Hope You Survive the Experience?"                   >
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"I said, 'You are "gods";
you are all sons of the Most High.'
But you will die like mere mortals;
you will fall like every other ruler."
  --The Bible, New International Version, Psalm 82

Hexadecimal Luthor wasn't happy.

Even though he'd won magnificently, taking over the Legion of Net.Heroes,
channeling the power of the Universal Office, and locking up many of the net.
heroes in their own net.ahuman-proof holding cells, he didn't feel that sense
of triumph, that delightful glee when a plan came together. It didn't feel like
he had *won* won.

Maybe it was because, despite becoming the leader, there were hardly any
Legionnaires willing to follow him. Even those who had voted for him without
any tricks weren't particularly interested in following his orders without
question. Only the Bad Judgment Boys he'd brought in served him readily, and he
couldn't stop his mind from dwelling on the implications of that.

Maybe it was because he didn't really control the Universal Office. Nor did his
mysterious benefactor; for all the shadowy one's bluster about being the new
Administrator, it was clear where the boundaries of that power were.

Maybe it was just his brain being overcautious, reminding him that he'd "won"
once before and had that rudely yanked away at his moment of greatest triumph.
Maybe he was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Maybe you'll never be happy."

Hex looked up with a start at the man he'd been interrogating, Toony Stork, the
former Irony Man. Hex had meant to have him bound in chains as a token attempt
at irony, but the Bad Judgment Boys couldn't find any. It didn't matter, plain
old rope was enough to hold a middle-aged man with no power armor. It was
definitely enough.

"You've developed some kind of psionic implant?" said Hex. "I'm impressed."

"Nope," said Toony, "I just know that expression. I've seen it often enough in
the mirror."

Hex held back a scowl and mentally straightened the mask of superiority. "I'll
level with you, Toony. I could use you. You're smart and you know how the real
world works. We've worked together before, and we can do it again, and succeed
this time."

"Well, thanks for calling me smart. But I think the smartest thing I ever did
was letting go of you."

He couldn't hold back the snarl this time. "You were a *fool*!" Hex shouted
into Toony's face before standing and pacing around the Ultimate Ninja's office.
"After the Beige Midnight crisis, the public thought you were a greater hero
than ever. Even though you were on the outs with the Legion, you could've
parlayed that into rebuilding your power and influence, rebuilt the brand of
Irony Man and used it to boost your company. Instead, you disappeared from
public view for years, and when you came back it was philanthropic nonsense."

"God. Did I really used to sound like that? 'Rebuild the brand'." Toony shook
his head with a laugh. "No wonder nobody in the Legion wanted to go on a date."

"Bah!" Oh no, Hex was bah-ing again! He spun away from Toony, looking into the
eyes of the painted portrait he'd had hung on the wall. "As I said: A fool."
Keep it cool. Get your cool back. Calm down. "I suppose I must lead the Legion
on my own."

"You can't lead the Legion."

A predictable response. Lex was back in control. He kept staring into his own
eyes as he spoke. "I can lead it better than the Ultimate Ninja could. My iron
fist is just as strong, and my will to power is greater."

"Yeah, that's what I used to think he was about too," said Toony. "The strong
will, the iron fist, the powermonger whose authoritarian oversight was the only
way the Legion could stand. It wasn't until he was gone that I understood."

Hm. More foolishness. Hex held no curiosity about Toony's opinions. But. "No?"
Let him speak. He might drop something valuable.

"The thing is, the Ultimate Ninja didn't *want* to be in charge. What he wanted
was to be free to flip out and kill people. But he thought he was the only one
who could be trusted with the responsibility of being the leader. That's why
everybody who's come in after has struggled so much, why you're struggling now.
Because one man thought that, for everyone else's sake, for the best reasons,
he couldn't delegate, he couldn't share the responsibility. Because Ultimate
Ninja couldn't be a person - had to be a force of nature, The Leader of the
Legion of Net.Heroes incarnate."

"..." Stupid. Stupid nonsense. Hex *knew* what it was like to be a leader. You
took the power because it was *yours*, and not for anyone else's sake. And he
knew that the Ninja must have been the same way.

"This conversation is pointless." Hex strode to the door and slammed-- strode
to the door and opened it quickly and decisively. "Take him back to the holding
cells."

"You got it, boss!" "Yeah, you got it, boss!" Bad Judgment Boy Aquamarine and
Bad Judgment Boy Vermillion pulled Toony to his feet.

"See ya, Hex," Toony tossed over his shoulder as he was marched out.

The door closed, and Hex allowed himself to... relax into the chair behind the
imposing desk. Mmmm. Well, he'd suspected as much.

Still. He wasn't happy.

Perhaps it was simply because he was cooped up in this stuffy office, with no
windows at all. Surely, in its ever-changing structure, the LNHQ had room for a
penthouse suite. He hit the button on the intercom. "Does LNHQ have a penthouse,
or something like that?"

"Oh, I'm sorry I was supposed to be memorizing the layout of a building that's
constantly shifting! I'll get right on that, boss!!"

Hex sighed and released the button. Why had Gets-Offended-Over-Perfectly-Normal-
Questions Lass been the only one willing to act as his secretary?

He decided to go for a walk. Alone.

Hex strolled determinedly out of the building, unconcerned. Proving to himself
he had the situation under control.

Half a block away from LNHQ, he stopped, patting down his pockets. Damn. He
must have left his phone in the office. Could anything else go wrong today?

"Excuse me. I think I have something that belongs to you."

Finally. Someone who was treating him with the respect he deserved. He turned
around and--

There was a crack, a flash of blinding pain--

He saw the person who had spoken-- in a hoodie, a mask, completely normal,
completely below his notice, but in their hand--

It was his heart-- his own heart, still... beating... but... slowing...

Everything went dark.
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Drew "happy inauguration day" Nilium