Re: die

On Sunday, June 14, 2020 at 9:36:37 PM UTC-4, [email protected] wrote:
> I want to end my life

I have to admit, there comes a time in life where you know "it's time".  By=
 that I mean, it's time to weigh all the pluses and minuses, then decide, i=
s it finally my time to terminate my life.  Have I seen everything I wanted=
 to see?  Yes!  Do I need to see anything more?  No!  Have I done everythin=
g I wanted to do?  For the most part, yes I have.  Is there anything I real=
ly want to do? No, not really. Then the question becomes, will anyone be hu=
rt when I hang myself?  Family?  No, they all disowned me when I was 19 and=
 came out as Gay.  That was 46 years ago when I last had contact with any o=
f my family.  Friends?  I've had 5 friends end their lives within the last =
4 years, and I know at least 3 more are giving serious consideration to doi=
ng it. This doesn't include me!  Do I have everything in order?  Will there=
 be any financial problems left behind?  No, everything is in order.  What =
about possessions?  All taken care of in the case of my death.  Have I deci=
ded how I want to die?  Yes!  I will hang myself.  I tried to hang myself w=
hen I only 14 years old!  I spent the summer in a juvenile suicide recovery=
 ward of a local hospital with an extremely sore and badly bruised neck.  I=
 tried again in a suicide pact when my then boyfriend and I tried to hang o=
urselves together.  I tried a third time when I was 23, just a few days aft=
er that same boyfriend successfully committed suicide.  I envied him, not j=
ust for succeeding at suicide, but for the fact that he managed to break hi=
s neck when he hanged himself.  This time, while I do hope for the same res=
ult he achieved, I will be satisfied with just being strangled to death by =
the noose. Do I have a 'where'?  Yes!   Is there any way I could be found b=
efore I would be too far gone to revive me?  Hopefully not!  Once I'm hange=
d for more than 5 minutes, I will have suffered irreversible neurological d=
amage, so my body might as well be left suspended until I'm dead.  Does any=
one know what I'm planning?  Remember me saying I have 3 friends who are co=
nsidering doing the same thing I am?  We actually sit down and talk about i=
t!  Would they intervene?  I know they wouldn't! =20

So, I have sat and weighed all the pluses and minuses.  It all says, it's t=
ime for me to end my life, my way, and on my terms.