[cuss cop] (Kurse Kusser) [HeartDoc Andrew] Incident Report: Cuss Crimes and Improper Praise

Internet Patrol — Praise Police
Incident Report: Cuss Crimes and Improper Praise

Complainant
- The collective peace of several newsgroups and anyone within reading
distance

Primary Suspect
- “HeartDoc Andrew” (self-identified), poster of the cited message

Locations
- alt.atheism, alt.bible, soc.culture.israel, uk.legal,
talk.politics.guns

Summary
A sprawling sermon-thread was deployed as a blunt instrument: mixing ad
hominem vitriol, impersonation of the Divine, mass-curse wishcasting,
and a hail of links purporting to convert celestial authority into
earthly credentials. The result: high-decibel zealotry, low-grade
civility, and multiple violations of the Praise Code.

Key Evidence (selected quotes)
- > LoserCornHolePeeledHenryNaziBigot whined:
- > GOD replies "I do not take orders from the Board. Moreover, you are
now eternally condemned (Mark 3:29) by Me..."
- > Therefore, https://bit.ly/HeartDocAndrew still has his
https://bit.ly/EternalMedicalLicense from GOD.
- > May GOD continue to curse ... the GCMB more than ever strickening
them and their family, friends, and patients with all the various known
and unknown plagues of the world...

Counts and Findings
1) Impersonation of the Almighty, First-Degree
- Claiming direct speech for God and issuing eternal sentences is above
any forum moderator’s pay grade. Heavenly jurisdiction not established.

2) Mass Cursing with Aggravating Zeal
- Wishing “plagues” on board members, their families, friends, and
patients constitutes weaponized piety. That’s not prayer; that’s a hex
with footnotes.

3) Compound Ad Hominem Construction (Felony)
- The multi-hyphenated slur “LoserCornHolePeeledHenryNaziBigot” exceeds
the legal limit for syllables-per-insult and drags a historical
atrocity into a drive-by nickname. Not clever. Not civil.

4) Pseudotheological Credential Laundering
- “EternalMedicalLicense from GOD” is not recognized by earthly boards,
browsers, or basic logic. Celestial licensure cannot be used to
overrule terrestrial revocation in this jurisdiction.

5) Caps Abuse and Punctuation Endangerment
- Excessive deployment of ALL-CAPS GOD SHOUTING and triple-plus markers
(+++) violates Quiet Enjoyment of the Timeline.

6) Scripture-as-Shiv
- Cherry-picking verses to imply divine endorsement of personal
vendettas is an improper use of sacred texts and a poor evangelism
strategy.

7) Improper Praise, Multiple Counts
- Appending “Laus DEO” to a curse list is praise laundering.
- Asserting only the properly initiated can say “wonderfully hungry”
turns devotion into a secret handshake. The Holy Spirit is not a
captcha.

Harm Assessment
- Targets include named individuals, a medical board, and uninvolved
families/patients. Collateral dignity damage: high. Likelihood of
escalating flamewars: certain.

Corrective Actions Ordered
- Cease-and-Desist on Divine Impersonation: You may quote God; you may
not cosplay His voice to issue sentences or licenses.
- Cuss Diversion Program: Replace ad hominem with arguments. Minimum:
one verifiable fact, one civil sentence, zero dehumanizations per post.
- Praise Probation: For 90 days, no “Laus DEO” may follow any curse,
threat, or gloat. Praise must not be stapled to spite.
- Swear Jar for Caps Lock: Each surplus GOD after the first costs one
calm, lower‑case sentence expressing empathy for a named opponent.
- Community Service: Public apology to those whose families and
patients were dragged into the blast radius.

Suggested Remedial Reading
- James 3 on taming the tongue, and if that’s too on the nose, any
style guide’s section on tone.

Advisory to Bystanders
- Do not feed the zealotry. Quote once, refute once, then disengage.
Screenshots beat shouting.

Disposition
- Cited and released to cool off. Further infractions may result in
Thread Mute and Mandatory Reflection Time.

-- Ofcr. Heart Vader