JOHN HENRY DEJONG - Malicious Parasite or Butt Remora?

]v[etaphoid <[email protected]> wrote in
]news:[email protected]: 

> Valentine Jack Smith <[email protected]> wrote:
>> Lou Proctor graced us with:
>> 
>>> He looks like an albino and the sound is terrible.
>> 
>> JHD goes hoarse preaching about the penalties of poverty and you
>> throw this in his face as if he weren't already aware? Yes, he needs
>> a new mic. Yes, he needs a new camera. Yes, he needs a new PC. When
>> he mentions that he needs these things to produce material of high
>> enough quality to successfully build his brand, the stalker brigade
>> jumps down his throat screaming invective and abuse.
>> 
>> I don't see you commenting on the production and effects quality,
>> which are extremely high and speak to the masterly skills of someone
>> learned in advanced video production. No, as usual you're taking your
>> bats to the lowest-hanging piñatas and patting yourselves on the
>> back for your success without bothering to acknowledge that JHD has
>> stated everything you're saying himself. That's a real familiar tune.
>> 
>> While you sit here clogging up a professional wrestling newsgroup
>> with this bizarre obsession, JHD is - even if he doesn't have the
>> latest, greatest gear to do it with - trying to change the world for
>> the better. You aren't fit to adjust his chair.
>> 
>> Get a new hobby.
>> 
> 
> None of that explains his face.

Even this looks better: https://imgur.com/a/W8vuCHz

> The boy needs to learn how to wash himself and do some crowd-funded
> research into how hair and dental hygiene work. He’s barnacle-ing
> off the hull of a dying woman and doesn’t even have the decency to
> maintain basic cleanliness and hygiene whilst malting all over her
> house… 

Objection. Barnacles aren't sucking the life out of living creatures
like a lamprey or a hagfish. 

I submit that JOHN HENRY DEJONG is a hagfish. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hagfish

Some selected excerpts:

"Hagfish are eel-shaped, slime-producing marine fish (occasionally
called slime eels). They are the only known living animals that have a
skull but no vertebral column, although hagfish do have rudimentary
vertebrae." 

"While polychaete marine worms on or near the sea floor are a major food
source, hagfish can feed upon and often even enter and eviscerate the
bodies of dead and dying/injured sea creatures much larger than
themselves. They are known to devour their prey from the inside." 

Also see the entry for lampreys.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamprey

One could state that JOHN HENRY DEJONG combines the worst
characteristics of both and not be wrong. I suspect their ethics are a
tad more consistent. They've never ripped off Beth Aultman's
inheritance either. 

PS: Methinks someone owes barnacles an apology.