Re: JOHN HAGFISH DEJONG - Malicious Parasite or Butt Remora?

Davey Zimmerman #274 <[email protected]> wrote:
> ]v[etaphoid <[email protected]> wrote in
> ]news:[email protected]: 
> 
>> Valentine Jack Smith <[email protected]> wrote:
>>> Lou Proctor graced us with:
>>> 
>>>> He looks like an albino and the sound is terrible.
>>> 
>>> JHD goes hoarse preaching about the penalties of poverty and you
>>> throw this in his face as if he weren't already aware? Yes, he needs
>>> a new mic. Yes, he needs a new camera. Yes, he needs a new PC. When
>>> he mentions that he needs these things to produce material of high
>>> enough quality to successfully build his brand, the stalker brigade
>>> jumps down his throat screaming invective and abuse.
>>> 
>>> I don't see you commenting on the production and effects quality,
>>> which are extremely high and speak to the masterly skills of someone
>>> learned in advanced video production. No, as usual you're taking your
>>> bats to the lowest-hanging piñatas and patting yourselves on the
>>> back for your success without bothering to acknowledge that JHD has
>>> stated everything you're saying himself. That's a real familiar tune.
>>> 
>>> While you sit here clogging up a professional wrestling newsgroup
>>> with this bizarre obsession, JHD is - even if he doesn't have the
>>> latest, greatest gear to do it with - trying to change the world for
>>> the better. You aren't fit to adjust his chair.
>>> 
>>> Get a new hobby.
>>> 
>> 
>> None of that explains his face.
> 
> Even this looks better: https://imgur.com/a/W8vuCHz
> 
>> The boy needs to learn how to wash himself and do some crowd-funded
>> research into how hair and dental hygiene work. He’s barnacle-ing
>> off the hull of a dying woman and doesn’t even have the decency to
>> maintain basic cleanliness and hygiene whilst malting all over her
>> house… 
> 
> Objection. Barnacles aren't sucking the life out of living creatures
> like a lamprey or a hagfish. 
> 
> I submit that JOHN HENRY DEJONG is a hagfish. 
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hagfish
> 
> Some selected excerpts:
> 
> "Hagfish are eel-shaped, slime-producing marine fish (occasionally
> called slime eels). They are the only known living animals that have a
> skull but no vertebral column, although hagfish do have rudimentary
> vertebrae." 
> 
> "While polychaete marine worms on or near the sea floor are a major food
> source, hagfish can feed upon and often even enter and eviscerate the
> bodies of dead and dying/injured sea creatures much larger than
> themselves. They are known to devour their prey from the inside." 
> 
> Also see the entry for lampreys.
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamprey
> 
> One could state that JOHN HENRY DEJONG combines the worst
> characteristics of both and not be wrong. I suspect their ethics are a
> tad more consistent. They've never ripped off Beth Aultman's
> inheritance either. 
> 
> PS: Methinks someone owes barnacles an apology. 

Wow. That description is uncanny.

John Hagfish it is…