Re: Inappropriate response

Mike Pietruk <[email protected]> Tue, 20 May 2008 06:22:24 -0400
Newsgroups gmane.comp.accessibility.vision
Message-ID <[email protected]>
Christopher gives good guidance.

Let me expand on it:

Often, when people are having a problem for which they are coming to the 
list, they are not exactly in the best of moods to start with.
And if they get an answer to which they cannot immediately relate to, they 
continue to be in that mood.
If you don't appreciate what is said to you, in response, rather than 
flaming back and continuing an ongoing flame, just move on.
Get over it; does it really matter what someone else in this world, who 
has no direct relationship to your daily life, says about you.
Personally, I could care less and if they don't appreciate my attempt to 
help, the problem is theirs, not mine.
If anything, about the only thing I might do is think twice before 
responding to their call for help down the road particularly if that 
response, such as doing research, requires an effort.

To a poster of flames, be they the first or follow-upper:  remember posts 
on a public list are generally archived for potentially forever.
Would you like a potential employer, spouse, friend, researcher, etc to 
dig this up about you down the road and use that flame as a representation 
of whom you are?
So if you have to say something nasty publicly, put it off for a while and 
then, before sending, consider if you still want that as part of your 
public record.
And, if you still feel a need to vent, do it privately be it to a friend, 
the person who sent it to you, etc.

I've never regretted not sending a flame.  On the other hand, I have 
regretted sending flames out as it reflects more negatively on me than the 
person I am flaming.


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