hu

Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this after Hu Jintao was named head of the
Communist Party in China.


(Scene: The Oval Office. Enter the National Security Adviser,Condoleeza
Rice.


    George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

     Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

     George: Great. Lay it on me.

     Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

     George: That's what I want to know.

     Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

     George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

     Condi: Yes.

     George: I mean the fellow's name.

     Condi: Hu.

     George: The guy in China.

     Condi: Hu.

     George: The new leader of China.

     Condi: Hu.

     George: The Chinaman!

     Condi: Hu is leading China.

     George: Now whaddya' asking me for?

     Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

     George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

     Condi: That's the man's name.

     George: That's who's name?

     Condi: Yes.

     George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader

of China?

     Condi: Yes, sir.

     George: Yassir? Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle

East.

     Condi: That's correct.

     George: Then who is in China?

     Condi: Yes, sir.

     George: Yassir is in China?

     Condi: No, sir.

     George: Then who is?

     Condi: Yes, sir.

     George: Yassir?

     Condi: No, sir.

     George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of

China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.





     Condi: Kofi?

     George: No, thanks.

     Condi: You want Kofi?

     George: No.

     Condi: You don't want Kofi.

     George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.

And then get me the U.N.

     Condi: Yes, sir.

     George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

     Condi: Kofi?

     George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

     Condi: Call who?

     George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

     Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

     George: Will you stay out of China?!

     Condi: Yes, sir.

     George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the

U.N.

     Condi: Kofi.

     George: All right! With cream and two sugars.. Now get on the phone.

     Condi (On the phone): Rice, here.

     George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we

should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle  East. Can you get

Chinese food in the Middle East?