Wretched

Back in the 1800s the Tates Watch Company
of Massachusetts wanted to produce other
products and, since they already made the cases for pocket
watches, decided to market compasses for the pioneers
traveling west. It turned out that although their watches
were, of finest quality, their compasses were so bad
that,  people often ended up in Canada or Mexico
rather than, California. This, of course, is the origin of the
expression, "He who has a Tates is lost!"

A thief broke into the local police station stole
 all the lavatory equipment. A spokesperson! was
quoted as saying, we have absolutely nothing to go on."

A famous Viking explorer returned home from a
voyage and found his name missing from the
town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the
local civic official who apologized profusely
 saying,"I must have taken Leif off my census."