| Newsgroups |
gmane.comp.programming.extreme-customering |
| Message-ID |
<[email protected]> |
Hi Charlie,
> > > What do you do as a coach if the Customer and the developers are
> > > talking past one another and not reaching any mutual
> > > understanding.
> >
> > Rephrase. Try to translate from one to the other. In passing, that
> > shows them other ways of saying things.
> >
> > Explain. Explain to each side, in as close to their terms as I can
> > get, how the other side's views might make sense.
>
> Sounds right. Sounds hard. Seems as if you would have to not only
> understand both sides but understand what each side was failing to
> understand.
In similar coaching situations, I don't have to know what each person
isn't understanding. A tactic I've found fruitful is to validate that
I actually know what each person is saying. Often, I find I didn't
understand as well as I thought, and my question and the person's
answer help everybody make a step forward. If I *did* understand
correctly, my paraphrasing often helps.
> Hypothetically, what if you as the coach actually can only see one
> side of the argument. What then?
I find that I can usually make progress by noticing what *I* don't
understand, and asking questions to clarify. My main strategy as a
coach is to pay careful attention to what's going on inside me
(thoughts, feelings, puzzles, ...), and to make that available for the
people I'm coaching.
You've seen examples on this list of how I do these things. Sometimes
they work, sometimes they don't. Sometimes they make things worse.
(It works less well when the people involved haven't asked me to
coach, and I'm butting in.)
Dale
------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor ---------------------~-->
Get 128 Bit SSL Encryption!
http://us.click.yahoo.com/CBxunD/vN2EAA/xGHJAA/NhFolB/TM
---------------------------------------------------------------------~->
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
extremecustomering-unsubscribe-hHKSG33TihhbjbujkaE4pw@public.gmane.org
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/