Re: Reasons To, Reasons Not To

Hi Ron,

 > One pattern that I see is one regarding respect.  Many of the
 > reasons "not to" had to do with a lack of respect, either "I
 > don't respect you" or "You didn't/aren't showing respect for
 > me".  For the most part, the reasons "to" had the same elements
 > -- "I respect you" or "You showed/are showing respect for me".
 > Interestingly, some of the reasons "to" were "you aren't going
 > to give me respect if I don't".

Yes, respect is one of the relationship qualities that sometimes 
seems to be more important than the specific request that the 
requester is making.  Other important relationship qualities that 
I can see are trust and liking.

One thing that intrigues me when I compare the "reasons" lists to 
the "examples of resistance" list is that these relationship 
qualities don't show up quite so directly in the examples of 
resistance.  People don't often say, for example, "I'm not going 
to do what you ask because I don't respect you."

I think that's one of the puzzles for change agents.  How is my 
relationship with this person affecting the way they respond to 
my requests?  How can I find out?  What can I do about it?

Dale

-- 
Web:    http://www.dhemery.com
Weblog: http://www.dhemery.com/journal (Conversations with Dale)



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