Re: Empathy / Acceptance
Brad Appleton <[email protected]>
| Newsgroups | gmane.culture.business.resistance-as-a-resource |
|---|---|
| Message-ID | <[email protected]> |
On Fri, Jun 13, 2003 at 09:28:31PM -0000, Amy Schwab wrote: > It seems like acceptance sets the stage for a stand-up-tall > relationship. Where others can talk about their feelings and > experience and know that it will be accepted (without judgement), > which sets the stage for me to do the same. In dealing with > resistance, this seems like a fine place from which to begin. If I > accept your experience (which I experience as resistance -- for > whatever reason), it allows us to talk about it productively and > generously. We may indeed have common experiences, thoughts, and/or > feelings that take us to a different level that would include empathy. > But it wouldn't need to be so. So maybe the issue is one of perception? If I am resisting you regarding something you want me to do, what is it about me that you are saying you will accept? How will you communicate that to me in a way that makes me feel accepted that will also lessen my resistance and make me more willing to consider what you are asking of me? (Is that even the goal? And if you "accept" me does that mean that you no longer need/want me to change (maybe someone else, or yourself instead?)) If I want to feel all of (a) heard, (b) understood, and (c) valued ... then is that the same thing as feeling "accepted"? How will someone make me feel that way regarding something I have expressed if they do not use empathy as a means to convey acceptance? -- Brad Appleton <[email protected]> www.bradapp.net Software CM Patterns (www.scmpatterns.com) Effective Teamwork, Practical Integration "And miles to go before I sleep." -- Robert Frost ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor ---------------------~--> Get A Free Psychic Reading! Your Online Answer To Life's Important Questions. http://us.click.yahoo.com/Lj3uPC/Me7FAA/ySSFAA/X1EolB/TM ---------------------------------------------------------------------~-> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected] Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/