Re: Don't Be Nice, Be Real / How does this differ by type?

Hi Amy,

 > I think such preference differences are at the root of much of
 > what is considered 'resistance'.

Can you say more about this?

 > How is this for others?  Have you noticed any patterns of type,
 > nice/nice, and resistance?

I've seen a few conversations lately where people had very 
different conversational styles, and the styles clashed in such a 
way that the conversations kept getting stuck.

I've noticed that I've had trouble with bosses who focused on 
"just get it done," while I was noticing all of the ways in which 
my actions would affect lots of people.  That's probably related 
to type (I'm NF, the boss is probably SP).

I'm guessing that type is very much about what we attend to, and 
that people who are attending to very different things are more 
likely to resist each other, especially if they are not explicit 
about what they are attending to.  I'm thinking, "The boss 
doesn't care about all of those people who are going to be 
affected!"  The boss is thinking, "Dale doesn't care about 
getting this job done!"

I haven't noticed how nice/nice affects resistance.  I'm thinking 
of nice/nice as placating, and wondering how the other coping 
stances (blaming, irrelevant, superreasonable, lover/hater, 
congruent) affect resistance.

Does anyone know of a good online description of the Satir coping 
stances?

Dale

-- 
Dale Emery -- Consultant -- Resistance as a Resource
Web:    http://www.dhemery.com
Weblog: http://www.dhemery.com/journal (Conversations with Dale)



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