Re: Internal resistance

Hi Chris,

 > > "If I fully and completely avoid working to build my
 > > business, what does that do for me that's even more
 > > important?"
 > >
 > > After a few more steps up the value hierarchy I come to an
 > > answer that feels like a positive intention:  "... then I
 > > would believe that I can succeed in this business."
 >
 > I'm really curious about this gap in your example. Can you fill
 > it in? What's the answer to the first question I quoted? How
 > did you arrive at "... then I would believe that I can succeed
 > in this business."

I think the chain was something like this:

If I watch the trial,
then I avoid working to build my business,
and then I avoid failing,
and then I could tell myself that "I /could/ succeed if I tried,"
and then I would believe that I can succeed in this business.

I still act out this self-sealing pattern in any number of ways. 
  When I notice that I'm acting it out, I recognize it as an old 
friend.  Then I find a way to create some small success for myself.

For example, thirty seconds after I noticed the pattern for the 
first time, I made a list of ten manager friends.  Over the next 
few days, I called each friend to do some marketing research.  I 
wanted to learn about the kinds of challenges they face, so that 
I could better understand what kinds of management challenges I'm 
best able to help with.  I talked with each person for about an 
hour, asked lots of questions, and took lots of notes.  Every 
single person said that just by asking the kinds of questions I 
asked, I helped them to see possibilities for meeting their 
challenges.  That felt like more than a small success to me.

As you can imagine, creating a success, even a small one, is far 
more effective than "avoiding failure" as a way to help me 
believe in my ability to succeed.

Dale

-- 
Dale Emery -- Consultant -- Resistance as a Resource
Web:    http://www.dhemery.com
Weblog: http://www.dhemery.com/journal (Conversations with Dale)



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