Re: Trust and Resistance

Hello everyone,

On 6 Apr 2004, at 10:12, Dale Emery wrote:
>  Many of the reasons are about the relationship between the person
>  being asked and the person making the request.=A0 Of those reasons,
>  one of the more common is trust: "I trusted the person who asked"
>  or "I didn't trust the person."
>
>  What leads you to trust someone?=A0 What leads you not to trust
>  someone?
>
>  What else would you like to say about trust?=A0 What else would you
>  like to ask?

I basically trust people in all things by default, even if the stakes=20
are relatively high.

What I've noticed, though, is that a given person can be trusted to=20
extremes in some areas and can be much less reliable in others. For=20
example, I know people to whom I would not readily lend anything more=20
than a small amount of money and yet feel I could trust with my life.=20
So, when I notice evidence of a person's trustworthiness in one area=20
(or lack thereof) - perhaps in their dealings with other people - I=20
tend to remember. But I don't automatically apply "blanket" trust=20
because I don't believe it's that simple.

For me, unpredictable responses are very damaging to trust indeed. If I=20
find a person whose actions I cannot predict fairly reliably once I=20
have seen some evidence of how they react to situations I tend to have=20
as little to do with them as possible. Unpredictable responses seem to=20
arise from mental stress (mental instability, stress, most commonly=20
fear). But then some people seem to place a low value on the opinions=20
of others as to their trustworthiness and thus react somewhat=20
unpredictably because they do not value the trust of others that a=20
predictable response would bring.

I think most differences in trust on commonly-occurring matters arise=20
from differences in values. For example, if the =A320 you borrowed is=20
basically worthless to you you don't bother to make much effort to pay=20
it back, while if the friend who lent it to you places a high value on=20
the money or it's important for _them_ to be seen to be reliable, they=20
can get a bit irritated by this.

I almost feel we need a different word for this kind of value-based=20
trust versus predictability-based trust. Greek apparently has 4 words=20
for love and is all the richer for it - not sure I'd want to go down=20
the "100 kinds of snow" route, though.

My final thought on this is: I think most people apply their trust=20
values to others in the world - that is, they interpret trustworthiness=20
according to their own trust values. If someone feels they cannot trust=20
you in a particular situation it seems likely you will not be able to=20
trust them in a similar situation.

I guess you'd expect this from the success of the "tit-for-tat"=20
strategy in many competitive-cooperative games: give others what you'd=20
like them to give you, and then give them whatever they deserve! What=20
can be difficult is to ensure the first step has a perceived positive=20
outcome. This can be hard when the other party expects a negative one,=20
or when you're not even aware you're in a trust game because your trust=20
values wouldn't flag the situation as important.

</brain-dump>!

--
Duncan Pierce

http://dunkworks.com/



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