Re: Trust and Resistance

Hi Duncan,

> What I've noticed, though, is that a given person can be
> trusted to extremes in some areas and can be much less
> reliable in others. For example, I know people to whom I would
> not readily lend anything more than a small amount of money
> and yet feel I could trust with my life.

I like that observation.  I'm probably the same way, but I hadn't 
thought about it that way before.

> For me, unpredictable responses are very damaging to trust
> indeed. If I find a person whose actions I cannot predict
> fairly reliably once I have seen some evidence of how they
> react to situations I tend to have as little to do with them
> as possible.

So unpredictability reduces your trust, but (given that you trust 
by default) you don't require evidence of predictability in order 
to feel trust in the first place.

> I almost feel we need a different word for this kind of
> value-based trust versus predictability-based trust.

I like that distinction.  One is about not being confident that 
the person will act in accordance with your interests, and the 
other is about being confident that they will not.  (The position 
of that "not" makes a big difference!)

> If someone feels they cannot trust you in a particular
> situation it seems likely you will not be able to trust them
> in a similar situation.

So whoever gives an impression of "not trusting" first sets the 
tone for trust in the relationship.  I wonder if it works the 
other way:  Does trusting increse the other person's trust?

> </brain-dump>!

Well, thank you.  I'm learning a lot already!

Dale

-- 
Dale Emery -- Consultant -- Resistance as a Resource
Web:    http://www.dhemery.com
Weblog: http://www.dhemery.com/cwd (Conversations with Dale)

Technology, the knack of so arranging the world that we need not 
experience it. --Max Frisch


------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor ---------------------~-->
Buy Ink Cartridges or Refill Kits for your HP, Epson, Canon or Lexmark
Printer at MyInks.com.  Free s/h on orders $50 or more to the US & Canada.
http://www.c1tracking.com/l.asp?cid=5511
http://us.click.yahoo.com/mOAaAA/3exGAA/qnsNAA/X1EolB/TM
---------------------------------------------------------------------~->

 
Yahoo! Groups Links

<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
     http://groups.yahoo.com/group/resistance-as-a-resource/

<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
     [email protected]

<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
     http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/