Re: Trust and Resistance

Hi Malte,

> And of course trust can be regained.

I'm intrigued by this.  Though I have thought about this only 
briefly, I can't think of a time when I've regained trust in 
someone, or when someone has regained trust in me.  Maybe there 
have been instances that I'm not remembering right now.

Can you say more about regaining trust?

> We trust in our car, that it will take us to work. We trust in
> ourselves, that we are good enough a driver to get there
> safely. We trust in other drivers to drive safely too, so we
> don't get into an accident.

I learned this in a big way the first time I drove a car in 
Australia.  I'd been driving in the U.S. for twenty years and had 
learned to take lots of things for granted.  But when, all of a 
sudden, the wheel was on the right side of the car and the car 
was on the left side of the road, I quickly lost trust in myself 
and other drivers.  Traffic circles (or roundabouts) were 
especially thrilling!  (It didn't help that I grazed a sidewalk 
in my girlfriend's client's car, damaging the tires!)

> Sometimes I meet people that I don't trust so much, but I
> can't really give a reason for that. They just have something
> in their apprearence that makes me intuatively reduce trust in
> them.

I sometimes do that, too.  It doesn't fit my image of myself as 
being a charitable guy, but I do it, too.

One time, during the first week of a new job, I was talking with 
a friend, and a man walked by.  My first thought was, "slick, 
sleazy salesman."  (Count the stereotypes there -- there are more 
than three, I think).  I told my friend what I'd thought, and he 
said, "That's our CEO."

Some months later, I was having a late-night chat with Roger, my 
boss, who was planning a trip the next day to visit XYZ Corp, a 
potential customer.  The CEO popped his head in the door and 
said, "Roger, say 'The check is in the mail.'"

Roger blinked and said, "What?"

"Say, 'The check is in the mail.'"

"Uh... The check is in the mail..."

"Good," said the CEO.  Now say ..."

I'll spare you the two other things the CEO asked Roger to say, 
but they were both examples of common lies, and both quite crude. 
  After Roger had said the third, the CEO said, "Good.  So you 
know how to lie!  You're ready to talk to XYZ!"

I'm confident that even without my earlier stereotyped response 
to the CEO, I'd have lost trust in him right then.

(The CEO was elected governor of that state a few years ago.)

Dale

-- 
Dale Emery -- Consultant -- Resistance as a Resource
Web:    http://www.dhemery.com
Weblog: http://www.dhemery.com/cwd (Conversations with Dale)

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but 
wish we didn't. --Erica Jong


 
Yahoo! Groups Links

<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
     http://groups.yahoo.com/group/resistance-as-a-resource/

<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
     [email protected]

<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
     http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/