Re: Don't Be Nice, Be Real

--- In [email protected], Brad Appleton
<brad@b...> wrote:


> How can I recondition myself to listen more for overall message and
feeling, so that I am better able to empathize? Actually, I know of
several ways to do this. But for me it has to be a conscious effort
and I can't seem to bridge the gap to where it can become more
automatic (to make the transition from conscious competence [when I
happen to remember and don't get lost in the present moment] to one of
unconscious competence)
> -- 
> Brad Appleton <brad@b...> www.bradapp.net
>   Software CM Patterns (www.scmpatterns.com)
>    Effective Teamwork, Practical Integration
> "And miles to go before I sleep." -- Robert Frost

Pema Chodron has written about tonglen meditation in several of her
books, including _The Places that Scare You_ and _Start Where You
Are_.
A description of the practice is here:
http://www.lighthousewoods.com/buddhist_tonglen.html

Basically, you work on developing empathy and compassion for yourself,
then for people you like and admire, then strangers...

It does take practice. It's a new skill to learn, and takes time and
effort and repetition, just like any other skill.



 
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